Tuesday, 23 October 2018

Being a YouTuber

This trip has been more enlightening than I would have imagined.

Thinking I was bringing mum away on her last trip of her life (although I have said that before) to give her a nice time is about as far as I had thought.

Yet within just a few days of being on this beautiful peninsula, and here I was realising that there was an energy shift.  Just like I had back in Egypt in 2009.  Strange.  Unexplainable.
How does this happen?  I wasn't sure.

Julia started it! She and I were watching 'Strings at Sunset' and she spoke to her husband about me.
"I'm sure that's Louise who we watched on Youtube." And came over to ask me.  Yes it was me.  This was a little surreal.  She continued to tell me how she had found the videos helpful and watched several of them.  Wow.  I loved that.
As the week continued, other new friends came and introduced themselves as viewers too.  Often we would just pass each other and they would let me know how helpful my work has been to them.  Ha.  Work.  I love that.  Talk about the best job in the world.  So, yes it is hard work at times but such a blast.  Love it.  Knowing that it's not just out there in the ether is exciting. People are finding this helpful.  And I love making them.

So now I knew what I needed to do with my life.
Which is handy as being here and places like this are helping me to feel so much better in myself physically and mentally.

Going back home sees lots of editing needing to go on which I'm excited to upload. Especially now that this is helping people.  The future looks bright.


Sunday, 21 October 2018

Cat friends

My new friend
I love travel.
No secret there

But when it’s outside of the UK I do miss Harley. Bless him.
More a dog person than cat person, I don’t really care where the love comes from when furry friends are around.

In Turkey, these cats seem to know I need some love and just surround me, chatting away and rubbing their whiskers on me 🐾🐾


Particularly sassy

These cats are well taken care of - what a great place to live!


Saturday, 20 October 2018

Halloween - Evil. Horror. Fear.


I'm not a fan, I must be honest.

The thought of fear being instilled into people...
As a creative, my mind is easily spiked to include manifestations of the most horrific kind that purely and surely couldn’t be true.

I’m much more an “I believe in angels and magic” type of person.  Thinking of Halloween as something evil and inviting bad spirits around isn’t a welcome thing at my door!

Last year, a simple drive to collect my daughter saw me drive past some child size teddy bear thing on the pavement. Strange. As I drove closer I couldn’t help but take my eyes off the road and stare.  The head of this creature seemed to stare straight into my soul and cocked his head to one side with increasing intensity of weirdness.  Freaked out, I began to wonder if I had imagined this. I’d never seen anything like it before.

Yesterday, a parcel arrived for me. It was ‘prep’ for an upcoming biopsy I have to have. UGH.  31st October.  More horror to add to this day.  So where is the light in this shade?

2 years ago my mother came to live with us.  People love her.  She laughs at everything. Which is wearing, you can imagine.  She and I are chalk and cheese.  She has dementia and the laughter and chatty side of her is magnified. 
Her old house was in an area of town where they used to put  up signs saying “No trick or treaters” as it was constant knock knock knock at the door to the point of driving everyone crazy.

Yet in my road, there are rules. If you have a pumpkin out, it means you can knock.  Despite my surgery that day, we will be well stocked with ‘treats’ and I will leave mum in charge! Opening the door to well dressed children while parents stand back looking on.  No doubt mum will love the banter and if it puts a smile on her face for a few hours, there is nothing evil about Halloween at all.


Thursday, 18 October 2018

When you aren't sure if you can do this rollercoaster life.

Maybe I'm spoilt...

Coming away from the usual life you live, often a rollercoaster of stuff 'comes up'. 

Why is that?  Could it be the different diet patterns we adopt? I do believe the gut and brain are closely linked. Well, we know this now don't we. 
How often are you away in the sun and get a bad stomach? You eat differently, you sleep with air con going full pelt, you drink alcohol and get loads of sun exposure.  Ok so all of these might be hard to imagine right now as the darker nights begin in the UK and north America but if like me, you are enjoying some autumn sun or have some winter sun booked, you might be able to relate to those sense provoking words.

Either way, when your emotions begin a rollercoaster which you feel is almost too much to bear, remember the law of attraction.

Yes, that old chestnut where this blog was born from.  
Reminding myself of how it works right here and now has been a saviour.  So yes we can manifest the traffic lights and parking spaces and then at other times get in our own way when it comes to the self sabotage stuff.  Like are we good enough? Beautiful enough? Clever enough?

Stop the doubting and remember the law of attraction.  As Abraham Hicks says, we can do, be, have whatever we want.
Mike Dooley tells us thoughts become things.

They do! We know this.

So think you aren't good enough, and you might well not be.

Do you know that person who really shouldn't be as confident as they are but totally strut their stuff and own their life? Yes?  Be more them!

Even if you are faking it, that doesn't matter.  Sitting feeling sad and sorry for yourself gives an air of 'don't come talk to me, I'm hard work.'
Being light and fluffy and airy tells people you are fun to be around and they can enjoy your energy too.

Feel sorry for yourself temporarily and write it in your diary.  Then finish the text of with how amazing you know you really are

If you're struggling, I'm sending you love and hugs...


Thursday, 27 September 2018

Being a spoonie

Late summer sun cast long shadows over the greenest of grass.

Today was going to be a good day, I had promised myself this. After recent events taking me into distraction, Harley would be my most faithful companion as we headed off into nature for some grounding.

Sadly, it was not to be so chilled as I was hoping as fellow dog walkers decided not to follow the rules and keep their dogs on a lead. Nothing was an issue really. But my anxieties took me to a place of worry and knowing I would need to rise early and get out
before too many people came into our space.  

Today is better. 

Piano chill music selected on my phone, playing through my ears like melted butter...writing...my furry friend at my feet.  Today was going to be a good day.  
A good day with curly hair.

Why not.

Monday, 24 September 2018

Working as a digital expert

I woke with a need to get clearer.  Honestly, life can't be as tough as I am making it. This is for sure.  First things first, these nails need to go. Typing with talons is not working for me.  Yet they are so weak and break at the slightest knock argh.  Ok, slowly slowly catchy monkey.

What exactly do I need?  I think I need more energy to do the things I want to do with my work. I definitely need more exercise to help with this painful back which has been really bad of late.
There is a need in me to earn a little more money and I sense I know how that is going to come. I want to really help those who have no choice but to work online.  This digital age is so definitely the way forward and so many of us are now able to create a business by fitting it into the hours we want to by stepping things up a gear and getting things done as and when we can and want to.  Some people want something so flexible so they can travel, others due to family life and wanting to be there for their children.  I was so lucky I didn't miss anything with my children. Although there was 1 night each week when they stayed at mum and dads and I took myself dancing.  Which was fab for all concerned.  
Of course then there are those who will struggle with working the regular 9-5 due to health. I definitely couldn't do it anymore. I know this. When i try to do one day at 'a job' which involves being with people face to face, walking around, climbing stairs, trying to find something for lunch, it's all simply too much and takes me about 3 days to get over it. This said, when I work from home, my energy is boundless and I can keep going on until I drop.  Kind of.  Sometimes. But it's doable, that's the point I'm making.

With mum in the mix, I feel my mind is constantly thinking, is she ok? what might she need? is today the day I'm safe to travel to london? Will the kids be able to deal with something if it happens? Can I be present in my kitchen to do some pottering or is she going to have those set hours to get her tea? All these things go around and around.  It is exhausting. Although I wouldn't have her anywhere else. 

Waiting for the time to be right to start mentoring people who need to sell their products online is something that is likely to be similar to "How long is a piece of string?" in that, it'll never happen.

Now is very likely to be the time when I need to grab the bull by the horns and do what I know I am good at, and begin to promote these things. 

So, how do I think I can do this?
Deciding on those businesses I want to be a part of is a good start.  Signing up and doing all that goes with that to begin with and to let my current following know of opportunities that are out there for them too.  

Sidenote: this is the most precious morning here as I sip my coffee and my dog is snuggled up against me, bless him. Snoring and a little smelly.  I just adore these moments.

Loving my laptop lifestyle today

Right, so touching base with my business every day and getting it automated as much as possible will help.  Creating a database of people who I can send emails to once a week with a newsletter and story type of theme catching them up with all that is news in the digital marketing world.  
So, like, my passion is writing and I need to work harder and smarter to get my books out there into the hands of people who will love them.  Ok, so amazon is an incredible platform YES, but the sales won't happen unless you point people in that direction through other mediums too.  And this is where I can come in, this is where I can help people.  

If they want to sell their own products, they can. If they want to be part of an affiliate marketing scheme, they can, should they want to grow their own team online, I will coach them to do this too.  It's all possible and it's all achievable with big results and in a really positive way. Without cheesing off your friends in the meantime.  These are ways which have given MLM a bad name and there is no need to rely on family and friends to do such things.  Instead, there is a definite way forward using the leverage and power of the internet.  The internet is massive enough for us all.  Digital is definitely the way forward. 

Right, time to do my much needed stretches to deal with this terrible Ankylosing Spondylitis and then definitely need to get these nails done....hmm, which colour?

Want to be a part of this informational email list? Sign up to find out more here Working for yourself, from home has never seen a better time.

Saturday, 22 September 2018

Post graduate study nerves

Nerves? Me?

I don't do nerves.  But my soul does.

Last night i woke several times. I would have referred to it as excitement.  Yet I quickly realised I was definitely out of my comfort zone.  Not realising I would ever refer to science (especially chemistry) as my comfort zone, but there you are...

They say magic happens outside of the comfort zone.  

Yes, i can believe that to be true.  As while I was swallowing hard with a gulp, I do also think my soul was doing a little jig of joy as my heart swelled with doing what I love. 

Stop overthinking and just write...


Saturday, 1 September 2018

Summer; don't go...

14.5 degrees celsius this morning in the VW.

Heated seats on, wipers taking away the early morning dew.  Harley shuffles in the seat next to me. He is cold.  Yet, still, my flip flops are the shoe of choice! No to boots, not yet.  
I'm either boots or flip flops.  No real in between. 

I love our seasons and how they change.  Yet I'm reluctant to move on from summer. 

This summer has been incredible. 

Why though?  It's been full of twists and turns in the health department but there is something about the way I am feeling which makes me grateful for life just now.
Finally the struggle is over. As I step into the reality of who I am and what I want to be.  

Almost as if I simply have to enjoy the writers life as my career as trying to hold together the 9-5 or the toil of dashing around here and there isn't going to be a possibility to even consider anymore. 
Watching a law of attraction video,  I noticed how the speaker was talking about us 'changing things when...' and yes that's true.  We so often wait until this or until that....so my back is against the wall and I chose gratitude.

Mum is keeping us on our toes as she keeps missing heartbeats.  This is something I have learned to stop worrying about.  But more on that over on the new blog.

My holidays have been incredible and I'm really stepping into my own skin. I never knew what that meant before. But I'm finally (for the first time in my life) comfortable with who I am and where I'm going.  Life feels good.  I'm comfortable with home life. Happy with work life.  The newest diagnosis of AS has allowed me to release the guilt of always being so fatigued as I know the reason why now.  

Travelling to Turkey was more than amazing and I plan to go back with mum in a couple of weeks time.  Prior to that we are in the trees for a wonderful time at Centre Parcs. I love it there! We also are off to a luxury lodge for a couple of nights on the coast.  All the while reviewing, photographing and writing about...what a dream job. 

Loving my online life. 


Friday, 31 August 2018

The next adventure; Gran Canaria

Sea view. 


The day awakens with the hustle of deliveries, trucks and vans. 

Without doubt we are going to have fun. 
My amazing twins doing more than chipping in to help with my braveheart mum. 

Today, we explore. Feel the pool as we swim. 

Get to know the place. 

Get to know each other better than ever. 

I'm excited. Bring on the day! 


Saturday, 18 August 2018

I’ve been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis

This blog post is disguised as a positive one I promise. It might not seem it initially. 

This week I was shocked to receive a letter from the hospital following an MRI I had a few weeks ago. 
Reluctant to lay in the machine, I felt so nervous. I’m not sure what I thought might happen but the heart was pounding anyway. 
Thankfully the amazing hospital workers had no hesitation in letting me use a machine which they told me was a bigger one. Still looked small to me. Yet I appreciated how sweet they were considering it was the end of the day. Without their kindness I expect they could have left earlier for home. 

Previously, an MRI (they were looking for spina bifida occulta) showed 3 degenerative discs. One facet joint had some osteoarthritis but let’s face it, I’m not 21 anymore. So part of me almost didn’t go for the test. 

The results informed me I have Ankylosing Spondylitis

There are square vertebral bodies with lesions, sacroilitis on both hips both sides of the joint and it generally sounds like a lot of inflammation is going on. 


I’d read around AS before but was thankful I didn’t have it. Now I do. 
This is life changing. 

A chance of spinal fusion is frightening. This means the spine ends up one big long bone rather than lots of little bones. 
The treatment is naproxen which will flare up the crohns so we can’t go down that route. There is biological treatment available but I know nothing about that yet. 

Already, I’ve made positive steps in my research and hope things can continue to give me hope. 

I’m feeling like I really want to crack on with living life just now. Travel. See the world. 
Sort my house out. 
Get some building work done. 

Apparently, daily exercise is a must. Eating a low starch diet is also proven to help. If you want to read around the science bit, I’ll link it here. I am excited to read that one of the bacteria in the gut (which loves to feed on starch) is linked to CD and AS. So, this makes total sense as when I followed the specific carbohydrate diet my gut flora changed, as did the back pain. 

At the age of 13 the back pain started. No one seemed to think this was unusual and I’ve lived with a bad back ever since. Around the same time (tmi warning) I began I lose blood from my intestines and the GP decided this was likely heamorriods without an examination and for years I lived on medication for that until my crohns diagnosis 25 years later!

It’s bad. 
I can’t turn back time. 
So what can I do?  I can exercise daily and eat right. 

I can live life. 


Are you with me? Will you support me?
For the first time ever i feel 100% focused and determined with every bone in my body (!) to get this blogging and writing career really flowing. Every time you read, share, like and comment it helps to get me towards this goal.  Thank you!
Don't forget you can get informed of each post into your inbox here.
Also if you would like to subscribe to my email list (which to be honest, i haven't sent out hardly any of those while I have been at university but things are about to change a little) of course you can watch the video versions of my antics on youtube

Let's keep things positive as I totally step into leading my very best life.

Love, as always

Louise xoxox


Saturday, 11 August 2018

What to do when you think you have it all figured out.

Have you ever felt like you are cruising through life and perhaps you even took forever to figure out where you need to be going and what you need to be doing and a big old curveball came as you were flowing downstream and knocked you into a totally different direction?

That was a long sentence to read so take a deep breath.  Did that sound familiar?
Yes me too.  Here's the story.

I was cruising through life (haha!) like pretty much everyone with twists and turns coming along and it all being a bit too much.  For me, there has been a lot of inner work going on as you will know if you are a follower of this blog.  Then I finally listened to all the signs that were guiding me and it has become clear.  Starting to work hard on my new direction of writing full time, figuring out my schedule and just like that <Boom> everything changed.

Yesterday I was enjoying a business meeting and a meal when I took a call to let me know my mother had fallen over in the garden after slipping on wet decking.  Darn stuff is so dangerous.  We already added non slip stepping stones but she wouldn't use them.  Mother has dementia and heart failure.  My back was turned and now I'm full of guilt.  She has multiple injuries and this is hurting me almost as much as her.  The guilt is horrid.  Yet what do you do?  You need to provide for a family of 4 as the breadwinner yet everyone needs a piece of you too. 

You know I took my business online and I'm very fortunate to be able to work at a level where my income can be generated online but this isn't a quick fix and still needs some time and attention.  Thank god for the digital age.  

Many people ask me (it's my biggest question) "How do you earn money online?" I'm so lucky to be able to answer them but moreover I get rewarded by those who are unable to get out to work due to family commitments or their own health.  I love seeing people take the opportunities offered to us in this century of working from their laptops when otherwise they wouldn't be able to work.

Yet still, these curveballs come along.  So how do you manage?  

Go with the gut.  What feels right at that time?  For instance, I know I need to be at home more right now caring for mum so we need to ensure the finances stack up for a few days of taking it easier with work.  Perhaps you can sort a schedule around your childrens bedtimes.  
You may be a person, like me, with an illness which sometimes needs your attention.  If this is the case, rest when you need to and when you are feeling better or motivated then get to work.

Do you really need to dust the lights?

Can you either get some help for the stuff which needs doing within the house or can you leave it?  I have learnt to deal with the frustrations of having a slightly more messy house for the sake of us having the success I want.  What's important?  Think about taking a couple of hours off from work then decide what really needs doing. A few bits of washing, some cooking, or going out with the family and creating some memories.

My next blog post will see some ideas for you to get working online.

Whatever you do, remember the law of attraction is always in action and the best way forward is positivity in the face of adversity.  While sometimes, we need to realise we are human beings and life gets in the way of 100% positivity 100% of the time. 

When it does, don't be hard on yourself.  You're only human.

Monday, 6 August 2018

This is where I need your help!

Good morning all.  

I need your help.

If you are a regular reader of this blog you will know there have been many twists and turns in life for me lately and I am very clear where my online life and working career are heading now which is brilliant! This type of clarity is something I have mediated on over and over and I'm chuffed beyond words that I am now clear!

How can you help me?

Recently I put a post out on Facebook which is not my favourite platform and asked what people want to see from me and there was a definite split.
So, the dream is to write full time which is what I now do.  However, I wasn't sure if most of this would be from writing romance (which I am going to do under a pen name which won't be a secret but it will keep my SEO and Google tidier) or from my lifestyle and nutrition research.  As myself (and the Lusher life brand) it's all about making life better and living the dream.  Which for me as an individual means writing those love stories.  

So what do you prefer?  Do you get much value from the blogs which are helping you with health and lifestyle?  Or are you more likely to want to hear about my writing journey and read the romance novels?  Would you be kind and drop me a quick line to let me know?  You can do it here through my email.

Do you want to work online?

Currently I am doing a lot of research on how I can best answer the question I am asked most often,
"How can I create my dream life and work online?"
As I make no secret about this being the perfect answer for me while dealing with family things and my own daily consideration of Crohns disease.  Yet I'm not going to pretend it's easy but I think I may have found the ideal course to show you how to do it. Is this something you might be interested  in hearing more about?  I'd love you to let me know your dreams and wishes. You can either comment on this video or send me an email.

Let's do this thing called life?!!!

Much love

Louise xoxo

Sunday, 22 July 2018

Sunday morning perfection

Time to write, to drink coffee, to dog walk.

Rising early as the sun streams through the 6am window, Harley and I decided to get up and out while it's cool for his paws.

Round the block as we used to call it.  Then Starbucks calls.  The best latte I've had since I visited turkey.  More about Turkey in a week or so.  LOTS more.  Lots to tell.

Meanwhile I will aim to get back on track with my writing word count for Nanowrimo. I'm very behind! But determined. As this is absolutely what I love to do! (Want to follow my writer journey where I share purely the juicy stuff? It's the only place you'll find it! Click this).

What fills you with joy on these Sundays?


Friday, 20 July 2018

Did I always want to be a writer?

Way before the days of wanting to become an author (hang on, when was that again as I actually can't remember the days?).  Yes that's right, I have always wanted to write.  As a child, I wrote loads of letters.  Mostly to my Grandparents.  Of course these days email makes it easy and many people write but this is quite a new concept. When I was a child not many people did write to others.  As a teenager, one of my lovely schoolfriends (there weren't many) called Claire, had a total romance with a soldier.  Someone from the Grenadier Guards.  They would exchange letters all the time.  She said there was another guy who would like to have  a pen pal and would I be interested?  Would I be interested?  In receiving mail.  Duh yeah.  And writing it.

I was 15 years old and so far in the naive bracket.  I hadn't thought such emails might need to contain a little flirtation.  What was I like?  Anyhow, you hear my point.

Writing my first novel

During a particularly dark point in my life (mentally and literally through my eyes) I spent a long winter period writing a novel.  Total fiction.  Romance.  I loved it.  It was more than exciting and got me out of bed every morning.

A year or two later I gave it to my friend to read over and she loved it.  She thought I really had something there.  But I left it with her and never collected it again.  I remember it now it was a dusky blue folder.   I remember it so well.

Believing life was supposed to be hard was tough for me as a child.  I thought life was supposed to be difficult and you were not meant to enjoy your work. Now at my age (in my 40s) I am finally beginning to properly challenge this concept.  I want to write full time, for a living.  Could this be a thing?


We so often doubt ourselves and our abilities as if you have been raised with a poor mans mindset OR/AND the belief that living the dream can't also be work and earn you a living, you have a journey to go through.  This is something I know so well.

Having been on this journey now for 9 years, I am still not quite where I need to be with my mindset even though I work on it pretty much daily.  The skill set is there although there are always extra skills to learn.  I love to type, take photos, write creatively and tell my stories.  Online marketing is something I love yet still I find myself wanting to learn more as this is definitely something within the digital world I would like to become a part of.  Recently I have met a couple of cool guys online who have created a course which can help me to become a digital expert in order to really morph this dream into a reality. So what is stopping me?

Finding time to write is something I wouldn't say I so much struggle with but it's the actual act of putting my writer dreams first before the family and other work which is currently paying the bills.  Yes, that's definitely it.  It's putting my writer dreams first which cause difficulty.  Ohh that's juicy. 

Digital marketing

What is your dream? ~What lengths will you go to to achieve that dream?  I'm thinking of signing up to this digital academy. If this is something you might want to do, I'd be interested to know. You see the one biggest question I get asked is how exactly do I make money online. It's not one straight forward answer but a long one...multiple streams is the way...

I'm excited for the future.

Saturday, 30 June 2018

Camp NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow - this is how I'm feeling

The last day of June means July 1st Tomorrow and the start of Camp NaNoWriMo! I'm excited to give myself a target to reach and also a little nervous as I do have some trips booked and an entire host of video editing to do for my Youtube channel before that.  I promised myself this would be done before I was shooting off to the airport.  So what is stopping me from being on top of my game?  Shall I tell you?  This is quite a vunerable thing to share...

Since finishing university my body has been over run with different infections and the fatigue has been so consuming that to plan a journey past a half hour drive has at times felt impossible. These grumbles also seem to go hand in hand with terrible mental health issues for me which is something I would gladly wave a magic wand at and get over it.  If you have even remotely suffered depression or anxiety you will understand this feeling. You can't control it no matter how you try.  For me, I have learnt through my science degree that 90% of the serotonin we make comes from the gut and with my issues of inflammatory bowel disease I am pretty sure my gut could be in better shape than currently.  Sure I'm taking my probiotics and they definitely do help.  So I'm giving in and sleeping lots and I suspect right now it would be a good time to try as best I can to surround myself with those people I love and trust to be sweet and lovely to me. Petting my furry baby Harley always helps and you know how they just love you so unconditionally in a way we all know humans could learn from. 
Trying to eat as little as possible to give my digestive system a break is something that's recommended when you have crohns. So I'm trying that.  But when you are a true 'foodie' it's hard.  Another reason to feel blue.  Sugar is the enemy when you have gut issues and bacteria love to thrive on the white stuff so I'm trying to cut that out as best I can...sigh....anyhow I have really digressed there.

Sometimes these issues with the brain definitely help to keep me on track.  Let me try and explain. You see I have started to converse over on twitter with many writer types and often you will find people who love to write may sometimes love being on their own typing away with their own words.  Sometimes with a mind rather like mine.  Anxious or over thinkers. Some days 'we' have no choice but to be at home with our words.  Yet I can't tell you how long I have given myself a hard time for trying to live the dream.  Strange really that my playlist has just played 'A million Dreams' from The Greatest Showman!

A dilemma i have is this: I've been offered a wonderful (but likely very stressful) research project.  There is money attached and a wonderful chance to make a difference in the world of diabetes.  I'm tempted and it will be a great challenge.  Yet am I up to it?  Can I do it without crumbling?  You see I sense being stuck between a rock and hard place is something that I must recognise where I am.  While loving the life of trying to get back to more writing/editing and working on my health at the gym, including walking the dog and all these other things that see me smiling it doesn't feel like work.

Which leaves me doubting the acceptability of doing it as a job....which is exactly what I teach others they must do....to follow those dreams.

NaNoWriMo will see me committing to 30,000 words which is 1000 a day and I'm going to start working back on the book I have left alone for about 4 years now. It's called Happiness in vitro and I'm super excited to get this one published but I want to get that first draught under my belt and work super hard on perfecting it.  By the end of July we hope I have achieved what I need to achieve in my writing.  I do love it.  I promise I will aim to keep posting on this blog too as I simply love blogging. I have more blogs than is normal for a person!  Without sounding too crazy, I simply feel like 'me' when I'm writing.  

Something I can't deny.

Friday, 29 June 2018

Ups and downs of knowing the law of attraction

Today sees me with strange moods.  

I can only guess that it was after yesterdays blog post talking about me stepping into my reality, (then today getting disturbed by mother). I was in the log cabin getting lots of work done and her disturbing me (she has dementia) made me realise this isn't going to be easy.

The journey I have been on for so many years now has finally brought me to the place of saying "YES! I am a writer!" And I guess rather like waiting for an elusive book deal, then realising you are finally there - and I guess like after your wedding day - you realise everything is still the same, with life ups and downs.

Learning about the law of attraction has been a tricky time and an entire blog post needs to follow with lots of details on this. It's not the answer to finding the cup of gold at the end of the rainbow but rather takes lots of learning to get your head around.  Stopping the feelings of guilt when you aren't 'thinking right' is a big old journey in itself.

So, just for today I will sit in Starbucks with my faithful friend and do a little writing.


Thursday, 28 June 2018

I'm a full time author!

Flip flops casually dangling off my two fingers, I walked barefoot in the sand.  Happy.  This was a happy and content feeling. My blonde beach curls were becoming more ruffled with the wind as I shook them from within the close view of my pupils.  Today was a good day.  

After avoiding the sun all week and instead preparing for this day with much writing and inside-type stuff, I was happy to watch the cloudless blue skies from the window as I knew today was the day I had 'Beach with Jasmine' written in my diary.  Expecting to need suncream, it was a ridiculous thought to pack my hoodie in the bag along with the towels we would use to lay on the sand after noon when the sun was due to shine.  Noon onwards.  However, the clouds kept moving fast with glimpses of sun in between.  Right after we had finished filming we popped into the old fashioned cafe and had a hot drink.  This still was a good day.

In my mind, I wandered.  Not thinking too much about what I was going to say in the voiceover.  You see, I'd planned in my mind to sit on the beach (we even took the tripod with us) and talk to the camera; yet I knew the wind would just howl down the microphone, even with the fluffy bit attached.  So those words could come later I decided.  Right after I write this passage in fact.  
My candle holding Buddha is lit and I am going to take some time to flow.  There is news you see. Big news.

Maybe not so much to you but definitely for me. It seems I may be the last to know. 

After lots of soul searching and a huge journey full of stress, twists and turns and not allowing myself to be ill or healthy for that matter, I have arrived at a destination.

Growing up, I was taught that toil, stress and misery is what working is all about.  At the age of 14 my wonderful Aunt invited me to think about doing a job I would love.  Leaving me totally perplexed, I began to wonder what I loved.  Settling on the idea of doing something with food (I was a straight A in my Food and Nutrition subject) I looked into several avenues there.  Ending up at college training to be a chef.  A long story follows that but suffice to say I still had the notion that work was something to be suffered.  I loved my job with a total passion but I think perhaps did some damage to myself after working 70-90 hours a week for 15 years.  Seldom a day off.  
Yet, work was going well, I was achieving.

Fast forward to today.  I'm trying hard (it's an effort) to believe that the one dream I really have might in fact be able to be my job.  

After lots of brain training to the contrary, I am now stepping into the brave place of telling you I am now embracing being a full time writer! 
There, I said it.  
Out loud and to the world.  

Since I was little I have loved all sorts of writing. 
Letter writing
script writing 
story writing, even poems.  
It's one of those things I simply can't get enough of.  People have told me I have a talent.


When blogging became a thing I was excited.  I started blogging years ago and we were told not to make it an online diary but rather to train people in something.  So I set about doing that and managed to create myself a successful blog with around 9000 readers per month which isn't record breaking but for me, it's wonderful.  Now though, I sense blogging is doing a 360 and people love hearing about memoir. 
Publishing on Amazon was another brave decision and I have some books out there now, one of them is even a little bit of fiction. I loved writing that too, seeing where the protagonist took me in the story (I love how writers state that even though it always sounds so 'out there') and people seemed to love my story too.

My health struggles sometimes. Which is something I don't like to admit. I like to be an achiever.  Against the odds.  Although recently I have had to listen to the signs my body is giving me as there has literally been no alternative.  
Ending up wired up to machines in hospital with total fatigue consuming me, I decided to make today happen, the day at the beach; filming.  It was time to create this life I have dreamed of as well as hoped might actually be able to fulfil me.  I want to write full time.  

Going full time

I'm going to write full time. 

Of course the money bit scares me. Of course it would.  I have worked out a little bit of a plan to keep me going while I continue to grow my author platform and I have also created a patreon account for those who want to support me.  Those people will be able to see all the raw stuff I go through as it happens, warts and all.  But most importantly, I'm going to step into the life I have really wanted for all these years and call myself an author.  

Will I still be blogging?  Yes.
Will I still be hanging out over on instagram a lot?  Definitely.
What about keeping the Youtube channel going? More than ever.
What types of books will I write?  Mostly non-fiction with a little spice added (based on true stories).  Many about living life on purpose (A lusher Life). Many more will kind of be Romance novels. 
Am I excited?  Beyond belief.
Am I frightened?  So much.  Yet I'm more frightened of not doing it!

Right as the day was coming to a close at the beach, an email popped up inviting me to undertake an amazing medical research role. I'm very temped, still.  Yet I know with my beating heart that I simply must write.

It's a must.  I'd love your support. <3

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