I have changed.

It’s been a long time since I have shared here with you on this blog in this manner.  Tempted to write something about not really knowing why it has taken me so long to type on this blog again (but that would be a lie) let’s just settle in to have a really good heart to heart chat now and see how this progresses for both you and me.

So much has changed; I have changed.  Many curveballs have thrown their way into my life to give me pause for thought. 

Here I sit high in the clouds on a plane to Turkey and I sense now is the perfect time to open up and allow lots to flood out onto this page.  

If you are an original (OG) follower of this blog, you will have seen so many changes over the past ten years since it has been live. Initially brought about through being in total disbelief of the learning around the law of attraction, I thought, “Why doesn’t everyone know this stuff?” And to my surprise I began to learn that many people actually did know! 

There have been many uses for this blog but always coming back to the place of falling into ‘lifestyle’ which sounds lame and wide.  Yet for me, what I love to read about, talk about and share is around lifestyle.  

Within this post I will touch upon a few subjects that I will be bravely expanding on within the next few posts.

Gosh I had no idea how tired I had let myself get but now that I’m on the plane with my work up to date, I am super sleepy but so happy. Happier than I think I have ever known before in my life.  That’s the most incredible thing to say ever.

I shuffle in my seat, hoping to get more comfy on this EasyJet flight but without success.  So in my discomfort I begin to write in my mind and guess I’ll fire up the keyboard and get talking to you guys.

The lack of posts on this blog are due to my stumbling over my words, which is crazy for a writer.  It isn’t the words of course, it’s the subject material.  Sharing such topics sees me open and raw and you will see why as the blog posts unfold.

Let’s begin here, in a place of clarity which has frightened me beyond belief.  Last week I took to the stage with my fellow cohort of post graduate students as we dug deep into our reserves of valour and read our work to an audience of important guests.  Such things seldom make me nervous but emotions were evoked as I realised my potential as an author following the feedback I have gained from the tutors who carefully have us under their wing. During the day, one academic who I trust and respect massively suggested I begin to label my work as memoir.  I gulped visibly and felt myself become mute.  I’ll share the full story with you in a full and open blog post, as I will these other subjects.

There has been the issue of dealing with living with a mother with dementia and I can't even bring myself to talk about it anymore which carries with it huge guilt.  I have tried to bury those selfish feelings but recently I was filmed by a wonderful couple of talented filmmakers and they touched on the story from the point of view of the struggles a career faces rather than, ‘oh this person has dementia and that’s really sad.’ 

A brave move. 

Open to criticism and if I was to really be open and tell you how I feel you’ll likely think of me as a bitch.  Although if you are in that place too, you are likely to understand totally and smile as you realize someone is finally speaking out.  This is a huge topic and I have so much to say around this.

I’ve changed lately.  

After going through the issue of the anxiety as I finished my undergraduate science degree I feel so much happier and less apologetic for who I am. This seems to suit some, not others. But it is what it is and I have had a further health curveball thrown at me which I was going to keep to myself but it’s going to be a long term influence on my life and part of my ‘living’ is going to be involving you guys on my platform with my journey from here on.  So I need to tell you and once again, this will be expanded upon in future blog posts.  

Likely you know I’m dealing with a couple of chronic disease issues, autoimmune related (Crohn's and Ankylosing spondylitis) which need careful attention but are semi-well controlled, well now there is something else.

I had an abnormal smear.

My cervix was biopsied in colposcopy and it turns out I have cell changes they are not happy with.  This has given me a myriad of feelings and I’m currently processing everything while trying to take the best care of myself I ever have.  I decided to bring this into my blog posts and likely will make a YouTube video about it as it's not so uncommon and I think taking out the fear might be helpful in some way, to someone.  Simply sharing how I feel might give someone else some feeling that might be a positive reflection and so I decided to take my head out of the sand and I’m going to write about it.

Signing off this blog post half written, I hope you will all be with me on this rollercoaster journey that I have decided to embrace with white knuckles.  It’s not been an easy decision to start blogging again but I have missed it, I love it and I hope to help spread the love between us.  I promise to give better updates soon....but please know I am ok and things are ok, and we will be okay.

Nathan and I in Turkey

He took me on this jet ski! Living life!

Reach out if you feel you want to and maybe are feeling lonesome....

Love always

Louise xoxo 

Review of Tui Blue Marmaris

My second visit to this wonderful resort (can you even call it a resort? – it’s like another world) and I’ve so much to say.

You search for a holiday and hope a few boxes are ticked.  This place has it all.

The beach is peaceful, swept constantly, stocked with comfortable beds and towels are provided (you can change these daily too). There is shade if you want it too and I chuckle how some of us move our beds to chase the sun and some chase the shade. Fish can be seen in very shallow clear water.  Even a beautiful blue kingfisher was seen early in the morning (I’m always up early!)

Two pools are spotlessly clean. One is the relax pool where folks reside to read and sleep.  I didn’t use that one.  The other pool is the activity pool and there is a little music and some games on occasions.  This was a great place for early morning sun.

Taking mum this time (Stressful mistake, my fault, nothing to do with Tui) we asked for the most accessible room possible.  I was aware this resort is not the most accessible with steps and slopes a plenty.  Yet we were totally given the most perfect room we could have wished for (I upgraded to the suite) and we managed with extra help from staff when needed.  This was very much appreciated on our arrival in the early hours when Mete (The resident Dj) offered to help us with the luggage. This is not his job and he simply did it kindly out of the goodness of his heart! Definitely going the extra mile! Speaking further of Mete, as a DJ I adored his sets. Especially on our last night – we were all buzzing after the entertainment finished (Rainbow Classix – we were all in tears at the talent!) and Mete played a selection of our requests and the dance floor was on fire! One of the very best nights of my life where friendships were cemented with other families and we all left with massive smiles on our faces.

The suite was well equipped with fantastic beds which were so comfortable (the best I’ve ever slept in!) and the showers were always perfect. 

A tricky eater, as I am celiac, food was always plentiful.  I loved eating at the Purple Turtle at lunchtime and there is always a gluten free and a vegan option as well as plenty of fresh fruit and salad.  Watching the fish during lunch swimming underfoot is fab.  Thanks to Ahmet, Sparky and Imam for their service here day after day.  Remembering your drinks, even if you’ve forgotten what you want!

Breakfast is good! The omelettes are the best in the world. Literally. Thanks Mustafa!

The a la carte restaurant is lovely service and free once per visit (regardless of length of stay). Personally, I felt the food was incredible but it’s not your typical british meat and veg if that’s your thing.

Dinner time saw us eating on the Balcony which is something I struggled with before as it was super hot in July and I preferred the air con inside.  Bayram is a star who was supported by Civan and the service again was second to none.  They had mum entertained with her strange sense of humour too!

Evening entertainment is so professional and I loved every night.  Now I’m fully aware this is all love, love, love in this post and yes, to be honest, there’s not really anything bad to say which gives me an issue of where do I go next? Will anywhere measure up?  Possibly not!  I’m a fan of live music and none of it disappointed.  My favourites being the Golden Tones on a Saturday night. The place rocks! In this area Erkan is a fantastic server of drinks and remembers a massive long list somehow.  Baris and his brother on the bar inside shake those cocktails to perfection.

Anther reviewer mentioned they ran out of Baileys.  Yes, for 24 hours.  And if that is all we can complain about….

Watersports: I wish I had gone out on the jetski. Next time.  There are kayaks for free to use and many other choices and these guys down there are so super helpful and friendly.

To be honest, you could easily use this place as a health retreat too. The gym is well equipped (there are scales in there too if you want to be obessed with your weight) and outside areas to work out in.  Several sports are on offer and I would recommend the early morning Yoga which overlooks the water and mountains.  Totally perfect for Bliss and grounding.  Ella was the Yoga lady last week and her knowledge is superb. She spent a lot of time with me (I have health issues) and was so helpful for making a forward plan during my stay. 

There are juices freshly prepared for the mornings. You can chose healthy eating, there is plenty here to chose from.

My one suggestion would be to offer more gluten free dessert. Other than fruit or chia seed pudding there was not much choice and I heard others mention this too.  It was a good thing for me as I dropped 7lbs in two weeks (which was my plan).  Although really, there is absolutely nothing negative to say. This resort has it all. The gardens are beautiful. There are some amazing walks and you could watch the changing landscapes forever….

Use the link to book next time *contains affiliate link