How to feel less sad this Christmas

 Sometimes, things happen and you feel sad about it.

No doubt you know this is a part of life and that it's 'just one of those things' but how can you stop yourself from feeling so sad about it?

This Christmas, I am going through some 'empty nest' upsets. This year has changed so much this year, and I feel as though I don't even recognize myself right now. It's a very confusing time. My son won't be around the table this year for Christmas lunch and I can't help but think of it as the end of an era. Although, when he and his twin sister were little, I would lay in bed at night, with palpitations, grown from panic. What if something happened to me? How long would it be before someone knew? Would they starve? Would they be ok in dirty nappies? I used to panic so badly, that I ended up being tested for heart issues on three occasions in the emergency room. It was worry. So, I used to pray. "Please let me see them grow up." To be sad now, that he has grown up and flown the nest, seems contradictory. Instead, I will be glad of the times I do see him this Christmas, and be glad that my prayers were answered. I wish you a season of as little sadness as possible and I hope for some moments of joy for you too. 

Much love

Louise xoxo Reach out: lusherlifenutrition@gmail.com IG: www.instagram.com/lusher.life

Life is short

Life is short, true. But here I am heading into another Christmas period. I made it. Sharon didn’t. We lay her to rest tomorrow. Heaven knows how I say goodbye to my bestie.

            ‘There are good guys out there, don’t lose hope,’ she told me frequently. 

            ‘Nah,’ was always my reply as I protested single life is better for me. Had enough heartbreak thanks. 

Christmas eve, I’ll be in the pub with my teenagers who are now old enough to drink with me. It’ll be fun. I might accidentally get a bit tipsy like I did last year. 

            Does that mean I won’t be looking at the door hoping for the Milk Tray man to swoop in? Of course I don’t want a heart of ice, but letting him in is taking some chipping away. Thank goodness he’s patient.  What if Sharon was right?

Dear Daddy - I miss you this Christmas

This Christmas I feel like I’m having a struggle.  Why?  Good question – I’m not sure but likely a myriad of reasons.

Dad has been gone now for 3 Christmas’ and this one feels tough.  Perhaps it’s my journey I’m on, maybe it’s my own future having had a shake up that has made me feel this way, I’m not sure.

At the card shop, when I was buying the Christmas cards, a simple one with “Dad” on it saw my hand reach out and pick it up.  I bought it. I’ve written to him.

“Dear Dad

I know this might be a bit daft. But Christmas isn’t the same without you.  I wish you were here.  Not for you, of course. As I know things are better where you are.  But I want you here for me.  To help with mum.  I want to make you Tomato soup for your starter and to warm your roll in the oven.  You always appreciated these efforts. 

We never throw the sweet wrappers at each other anymore in a game of catch.  Things just aren’t the same.

But I know you are up there working your magic.  I can feel things shifting. Thanks Dad.  Life is on the cusp and it’s very nearly ‘my time’.

On Tuesday I sing in the chapel – in the choir.  Remember when we went?  Just 6 weeks before you passed.  I said I would be singing there.  Took me 2 years but this one is for you.  You’ll love ‘Glory, Glory, Glory’.  Do your trick with the lights again?  Like you did in March when we sang Oh Danny Boy. I love it when you remind me you’re not gone.  I know you never told me, but I love you Dad.

Bubba xxx”

London Concert at Christmas

Mentally writing blogs in my head is a luxury these days.

I missed you guys! How are you?  How are your Christmas plans?  There have been so many revelations in my life recently and it's all around this blog, this place I love.  Yes, I want to do more.
Since the template (face of the blog) has changed I love the new look.  I'm not sure all the features like your RSS feeds are working so well but I digress...

This has been a challenging few weeks at University with lots of work on.  You know, it's never quite so bad as you think it will be once you get going on these jobs you put off is it. Although it's not that I put things off, I just love working to the deadline.  Gives me a bit of a rush!  Last night I completed the last big one for this year.  Excited.

As you now, I lost Dad earlier this year and I have found it created a myriad of feelings that is so hard to put into words.
Surreal
Comforting
Heartbreaking

The list goes on.  Comforting because I have a strong sense of his peace.  Who wouldn't wish that for their loved ones?  Yet I know Christmas is going to be a challenge.  And I'm head of the house these days regarding my family.  I need to honour Dads memory,  remember him, still sing the silly songs we sang all while keeping the tears in check so Mum laughs with fondness and not a broken heart.  It's my job now to take care of her.  Of course, I love that.

Anyhow, we had a few tears, much laughter and a wonderful, amazing concert to get us in the Christmas mood.  The Royal Albert Hall was the host and the London Concert Orchestra were in residence accompanied by the AMAZING London Concert Choir.  I loved it.  So did Mum.

For the first time in I don't know how long, I felt like Christmas was going to be an exciting time! Mum enjoyed it too.

Prior to arriving at the concert, we spent time having a wonderful lunch, browsing Fortnum and Mason and watching the skaters in Somerset House. All so festive and beautiful.
The video of the day is below and I will forever watch this with a smile.  Love it.

I promise we will speak again before the big day on the 25th but meanwhile, much love

Louise xoxo

Tragedy has brought me clarity

Hi Everyone

Are you well? Happy?  Living on purpose?

I'm going to share something deep from within today.  Doubtless you saw my last post about losing my lovely Dad.  Such a tragic and unnecessary loss.  Already missing him so much,  I cannot tell you the times I have started a thought about texting him and realised I can't do that anymore.

Losing someone close can be so cold and harsh.  For instance, letting the local council know that Mum is now living as the only person in the house.  When they write stating facts like "You do not have a partner" just two days after her husband of 54 years has passed away is so cruel.

Having to post Dads driving licence back to DVLA is just like we are trying to erase his life.

Something they can never do is take away our memories.  Our photographs and videos.  So many wonderful times shared.

How could I possibly let my mum focus on anything other than her grief.  So, instead, I'm taking care of the ugly bits.

As my Dad sits looking back at me at my desk from a photograph we had taken at Christmas at my Graduation, I can feel an overwhelming sense to share something from within here on this blog.

You see,  you might be asking, "What about all the positivity?  What about the Law of Attraction?"
I would be inclined to agree with you. Isn't that what the blog started out to be?

If nothing else,  losing my lovely Dad has made my soul sit up and listen.
I didn't even reach within to get there,  it's forced my hand.  Feeling not quite myself within life is something I have experienced for a long long time yet I have previously decided it's not going to ruin my life, or stop me from doing what I want to do.

The trouble is,  we so often listen to the way we have been programmed.  Recently, Mums well meaning friend told me how I couldn't make my living from home, from my laptop with my nutritional advice.  Well, these days you can.  It's my dream and my safe haven.  With hard work, dedication and belief I can do this.  Finally I feel like I am ready to take that leap of faith.  It's not even like it would be an injustice not to do it but rather if I don't I am going to feel it in my health.

Have you ever had a deep rooted belief like this?  Likely you know what I mean if you have.

Something for so long has been telling you that you mustn't do it/it isn't real life/that lifestyle isn't for people like us etc?  With health issues getting worse and worse I am realising that my future might well be from home, on my laptop, working that way.  If I don't, I honestly feel my health will decline.

Yes, I do feel this is fulfilling my spirit but I also feel that there are those practical reasons too.   As a Crohns patient, I need to eat carefully,  not on the run.  I also need to take time to try and exercise as these aches and pains scream at me more and more.

This blog isn't a rant.  Nor is it a feel sorry for myself post.  Rather it's like, dealing with losing Dad has brought my health issues to a head and without listening to what I really must do, I feel life wouldn't be so worth living.


One last thing as I try to explain my point to you.  I feel deep within that I would be really happy with the lifestyle that I have been calling my dream.  IT's the time that I feel 'full up' with JOY and PASSION and purpose to life.  Don't we owe it to our loved ones to be that person?

What can you do today to realise your dream?

My next blog post I will share my plans for travel in 2016,  my need for a NutriBullet and those Abel and Cole guys.

Sending love, as always,  from a heartbroken yet driven,

Louise xoxo

I lost my Dad

For those of you who don't follow my Youtube channel, I have some devastating news.

My brave and gentlemanly father has passed away.

Not only are we in shock as a family but I'm finding things pretty hard to keep going.  As usual, I am finding gratitude in 'things' but this event and massive loss has really shaken things up.

Dad and I are so close.  Often understanding each other with just a look when Mum says something funny.
OR an amazing song with air guitar breaks needed.

I was always a Daddys girl.
Monday lunchtimes home from school were the best.  Depending on Dads shift pattern he would cook me mashed potato, meat left over from Sunday lunch and thick steamy gravy.  I never wanted to go back to school on those monday afternoons.

Miserable school.
It was Dad who sat me on his lap when I cried and said I wanted to leave school.  It was Dad who taught me to stand up for myself and fight for whats right and wrong.

Dad was my dancing partner when we started to learn Ballroom and Latin when I was a young teenager.

Dad was also the man who usually led the Macarena.

So how do I begin to chose the song for the soloist at his funeral?

How do I put one foot in front of the other and carry on with study, work, life and cleaning the darn floor?

How do I do anything without curling up and crying?

How can this be a normal part of life?  Something that so many go through.  Grief.  Losing people.  IT hurts so much.

Little by little, I will be kind to myself.  Helping Mum to sort life out.  Life without her husband.  54 years of marriage.  Gosh.  Do they still make marriages like that?

Unsure if I should make a video or not, I decided to go ahead.  My subscribers are growing daily and I'm eternally thankful for the dream that pretty soon I will be able to work from home on my business and stop worrying so much if I have a day or two where I feel unwell.

Thank you all for being here.  You mean so much to me.