Confused - Because I want it all.

Guys, I'm usually here giving you a little bit of advice.

Today I fancy having yours...

Maybe you will relate. In fact, if you have ever had a dream I am fairly sure you will relate.

If you have followed my blog for some time now you will know I am a mature student at university.  I do love my course.  I love the sense of achievement and having deadlines to meet.  Routine is great and I totally love it.   Subjects fill me with so much passion for science and the nutritional direction in which public health is going.

However..... part of me really wants to carry on and do a PhD.  This might lead to a great job.  Do I want a JOB?  Is it really the dream? OR is the dream to write, travel, make films?  To be honest, I think it is yet I get caught up in the whirlwind of study and achieving. 

Writing on this blog, for example, the only person patting me on the back is you, the reader.  Sometimes even showing me with the view counts.  So while I haven't been paying so much attention to my views recently, I have just hopped over and taken a look. I'm astounded.  Amazing... since my Najowrimo (about Journalling) blog post a couple of weeks ago there are so many of you have signed up to get my blog posts to your inbox via the signup box on this website and I feel that is a definite pat on the back.  Thank you. 

If you have ever tried meditating on 'what you really want' you might be amazed and surprised.  I intend to begin creating such meditations.  Honestly since the law of attraction came into my life so much has changed. It's incredible.  So, then I get inspired to show you guys once again where to start with the law of attraction, what it has done for me and how you can live your life the law of attraction way to really go and live your dreams.....

Living my dream...

What would you do???

How lost I feel when words fail me...

Losing count of how many times I have attempted to pick up my laptop recently, I wonder how to start...

Words never fail me.  Never do I suffer writers block.  Something inside me feels lost.  

What is going on?

Head lost.  New directions looming.  Challenges all around.  Sad people surround me as I do my best to lift them up.   

Yet all this time I am not writing.  Which you know is my passion.  

A firm believer in life taking twists and turns and taking you places you may not have thought about going, I do wonder how this is unfolding. 

Life and the law of attraction has been giving me the most massive signals for quite some time - do this, don't do that - and I have listened but not instantly.  I hear them but don't always act.  To leave devastating consequences with bigger messages.

Looking after my family is obviously  a massive thing right now.  Mum is still very poorly and doesn't think she will be heading home anytime soon.  Which is sad but lovely to have her.  This leaves me with a big question mark over my future.  

Tiny percentages of clients are overly demanding, not showing the big hearted care I would indeed show them at a time like this.  University is hotting up as we head towards the end of the second term of the second year.  We need to be there a lot. Still I love it.  My passion.  I get excited at the thought of going into university and soaking up like a sponge. Education.  Helping others.  Health.  I love it all.

Arriving home with nothing but exhaustion is the only explanation I can find for my lack of words.  
Still, I want to write.  Still I write mentally in my head.  Still there are those mental battles of which piece of writing comes next.  

Yet switching on the computer and getting those fingers effortlessly flying across the keyboard in the usual fashion seems near on impossible.

So what is the answer?

Last night, I wasn't ready to sleep.  Yet neither did I want to 'get into' the TV.  
Youtube called my name as I searched on the phone, "Full time blogger."  Hoping for inspiration, I was attracted to click on a lady who's name was Sarah.  She began to speak into the camera about her life, her fertility treatment, her twins and her cooking which she takes online to inspire others. Sounded like me! 8 years my junior, I watched my inspiration grow as she realistically told of hard work, late nights and those days when you question what you are doing.  Then she also told of her passion, as I watched her eyes sparkle.  Her time was her own to manage.  She could spend time with her children, get to the school plays,  be sponsored by holiday companies to go away and write and shoot photos.
My eyes began to droop as the familiar feeling of fatigue haunted me into sleep. 

This morning I have awoken refreshed, feeling so much better physically than yesterday.  A blessing indeed.  Coffee made (with soya of course!) I headed to this place. 

My writing desk; my space

Somewhere we set up a week ago to leave mum in peace to watch her daytime TV while I take a communication system to be envied by NASA (A Doorbell which you plug in) and head off to write, to study, to work.
Ok there is a little mess here already, yet my buddha candle, my daylight window and the birds tapping on the cabin roof while singing their early morning birdsong has me singing inside too. 

Just like Sarah, with hard work and determination I can do this. I mustn't lose sight of that. I can make it happen.  Days will be hard but I can get there.  We can all get there. 

Will you?

Don't stop believing

Hospital radio plays in my ears through the earphones.

An acoustic version of Don't stop believing.  

About what?  That life is good?  That we are all here to experience the joy of life.  Well I know that one and have been preaching to you guys for some years now. Although let's face it, we have our ups and downs, we are human beings.  It's what we do.

As another trolley and its squeaky wheels enters the ward right on time to take the patients blood tests I find myself feeling grateful.  Thankful for these amazing staff who not only have such tremendous patience but for the science of medicine and what it can do.  By medicine of course I mean health and the science that goes with it.  

Hospital radio produces a magazine. Immediately my entrepreneur thoughts see my advertising my nutritional services within there.  Gosh, like I don't have enough to do.  Just then I spot in the magazine that there is a need for radio presenters.  I should do that.  Entertain the patients.  I could help.  Then I remember my dream.  My dream of slowing down a little, enough to respect my health, this body, this vehicle for my spirit.  

The accompanying guitars ring beautifully in my ear.  I feel a love for this music once again. Something that has been slipping away.  Just like my thoughts.  Those positive thoughts seem to be escaping from me.  I know just as you do that the law of attraction needs working on. It's not like we forget, we just slip into the rhythm of life.  Get carried along in the negativity and the processes that often distract us from our meditation, our health kicks and our positive thinking.  

Being at the hospital so much just now, I remember just how far I have come in fixing my health - remembering the permanent underlying issues.  Yet able to ignore them if only we eat right, exercise right, sleep right.  The canteen shows a poor show of options for those with gut issues.  Pie and chips,  soup with wheat base,  sandwiches galore, if you are lucky a jacket potato, large enough to spike your blood sugar into space which of course gives us an insulin issue - then of course there is Mrs Crimbles, the promise of a gluten free coconut macaroon, seen often within the shelves.

My stomach has reminded me.  Take care.  

My eyes watering with allergies, my heart heavy with sadness.  

Thankfully, keeping within the now seems to be amazing for my mental health.  There is no time to think  - no time to be glum.  

Life is still good, still meant to be good.  

I won't stop believing.  Are you with me?

Lost your muse?

For the first time ever I lost my muse.  Prose?  Words?  Writers block?

Never did I understand this previously.

I mean, I have all these books over on amazon. 

When I heard of writers 'finding' writers block I would frown with a big cartoon question mark above my head.  How can this be?  I would wonder.

Yet, now I have found myself with the same question mark for a different reason.

Been struggling.  
Is this you too?  Can you relate?

Over the summer break from university I have been cramming in way too much work in the way of 

* Home improvements
* Educational courses
* Working on my online business
* Giving the children a great summer 
* Getting my health on track

It's just too much.  Who could focus on more than one of these at a time?

Yet I'm super thrilled to see my blog going from strength the strength.  I love it!!! It's where I desire to be in the future.  So I must get past this block.  I've a few ideas.  Here comes the reason I'm struggling.

One of the educational courses I am taking is a blogger course.  Now, IT is Brilliant (yes that capital B is supposed to be there!).  Yet it's pretty tough too.  Showing me how to turn this passion into my business.  
(If you don't know, I have some health issues which means blogging suits my future perfectly and allows me to continue to work.)
Most of what I write is rather rambly about life stuff and how to change life for the better.

I'm passionate about this.  My 'about' page on this blog is soon set to change.  I want to tell you guys my reason WHY I started my business A Lusher Life and why I am super charged to help those I can reach.  This must mean that on occasions I will be writing posts that may not have an affiliate link in them or are simply purely for the sake of brain dumping.  That's just how I roll.  It's what feels right to me.  Build it and they will come.

Meanwhile, this blog will have slight changes made to it over time and you can see changes for the better.  To make 'stuff' tidy and neat.  Yet it will still be all me.  Just heading in a direction to create a sustainable business for me and my family.  In my next post I will share with you why I feel being a mum to teenagers is likely harder than raising babies.

Until then, if you are a blogger keen to begin using your passion as more than a hobby blogger, I would recommend looking at the course I am on.  The lady who is the owner of the business knows so so much.  From starting on pintrest, to monitizing your blog. See her website here . 

Back to A Lusher Life.  There really are so many amazing opportunities for simply everyone these days.  I have seen people create blogs who disregard the SPAG they teach in school (spelling, punctuation and grammar) who have a great following.  What's stopping you from giving this a go?  Let me know if it is something you would like to hear more about and I will let you know how you can make your dream a reality.  This blog is all still about that.  Especially if you have limiting beliefs.  More on that another time.  

Meanwhile, a picture of my coffee.  

Ok....

You got me....

This is not my coffee I sit with today as today is just about me grabbing an hour to myself to connect with my beloved blog and find my voice once again.  I adore writing.  I just feel I have listened too much to those inner voices who say "Write about something of value, something you know about, like science..." and yes, there is a place for science EVERYWHERE, including this blog (the science of the law of attraction) as well as my other blogs.  Yet I want to simply tell you, right here, right now, that you are more than amazing.  Have some belief that you can do all the things you want to do!

Much love

Louise xoxo

PS did you know I'm vlogging every day in august for #VEDA?  See the videos here. 

Using the Law of Attraction to pass exams

Ok, I know the title of this blog post sounds mad.  Yet it made you click.  Likely you thought it might contain information about MAGIC.

You were right to click.  

Yes a little magic happened today!

Awake just before 4am with a racing heart, feeling anxious.  Biology exam looming.  It was my final exam in Biology.  I’d always prided myself on having a good knowledge in human biology. 

Despite amazing and slightly surprising exam results so far, I was not overly confident this morning on the Genes, Metosis and Meiosos exam.  Jeez did I spell that right?  My spell checker is not a fan, underlining in RED.

Revising with a blurry eyed coffee, my results were not encouraging.  Practice papers were coming back anything between 30 and 60%.  I needed higher than that to secure my A in Biology.  Feeling low, I noticed how dry my eyes were at around 6.30am.  Deciding I could afford a 15 minute meditation, I began to visualise a better score.  I visualised being happy with my result.  I started with 75% and grew higher and higher.  I dozed for 2 minutes. 

On the train I was once again feeling less than confident.  The escalators to the tube saw me controlling my breathing as I attempted to rid my dizziness and heart flutters.  What was I going to do?  How was I going to pass this?  I even contemplated not going in as there was little point.

The trains brought me into University early today.  Time for peppermint tea and revision. It was going well.  
I got to the exam room.

Teacher informed me I was too early. 
“I could always revise?” I suggested.  He agreed.  More revision.

‘Universe, give me the questions I know.’ I silently pleaded in my mind.

At the end of the online test the results button confirmed my new-found confidence as I began ticking the answers. I felt the sides of my mouth upturning and my frown lessen as I realised the questions were in my favour.

Gee Whizz…….85%

I passed that with 85%!!!!

Thank you LAW OF ATTRACTION!

Overall score for Biology this year is an A. Chuffed to bits doesn’t even explain it!

Shattered from my early morning I sit and type on the train home. Pleased with myself.  Clear on my future direction.  Happy as a sandboy.

Looking forward to my weekend, my TV time with Harley and Jasmine.  Maybe a dairy milk ice cream.  Tomorrow I revise for Chemistry.  The LOA will struggle with that one. I’ve a limiting belief and it’s another story.

Right now, I’ll close my eyes and dream of a 75% score in Tuesdays chemistry test.  Let it go Lou. 
Universe, help me!

Much love, as always from a very happy bunny!

Louise xoxo