Sunday, 12 May 2019

Posting travel Vlogs from Tui Blue Marmaris with 'Dementia mum and me'

Having just come back from the incredible Tui Blue Marmaris once again (more on that in another blog post soon!), I have just finished uploading the edited videos from the trip.




It was more than amazing to feature my son on this trip and he was super helpful in the health and fitness video too! However, these videos are all up and live now and I decided it is time to bite the bullet and edit the videos from last October when I took Mum there.

For me, I have made no secret of the fact this was a life-changing trip for me and painful in many ways and I had to bury this for some time while I came to terms with how I was feeling. Mum has dementia but is still high functioning yet kinda puts on me a lot. While I hadn't realized that until two ladies I made friends with on the trip pointed it out, I have struggled since to deal with day to day life with mum who often doesn't try and be helpful but yet my life was on hold.  Now, we have taken steps to cope (for us all) and while it's a work in progress, I do feel it's time to start editing and sharing these videos and I shall be posting over on the dementia blog soon too, highlighting the struggles carers face. It's not a bed of roses. 


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Tuesday, 23 April 2019

Imposter syndrome

What is imposter syndrome?

How can we overcome it?

As a writer, who seems to finally be finding her feet in this world of being a creative, I am finding some days when it feels as though it's impossible to beleive in who you are and what you are doing.  Which is EXACTLY the reason this blog was born ten years ago!



And no, I can't beleive it was ten years ago either...

In this video, see what I mean about trying to get over it and let me know if this tip might have worked for you too!


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Sunday, 21 April 2019

Do you believe in Angels?






Whenever I come into London, my diet is never where it should be.
The fast paced craziness that couples itself with the city of London sees me rushing out of the door on 4 hours sleep this morning in order to get myself to London and find somewhere (using my GPS map) called Friends house. 

Today is the day I meet Mike Dooley from TUT.com

If you have been around as a reader here for a few years now you are likely to have heard me talking about the Notes from the Universe which is the genius brain child of Mike. Witty, thought provoking messages pop into my inbox each day to put a smile on my face and make me feel there is more to this life than miserable drudgery. I have frequently shared the website of Mike because I want others to think and feel the same.

If you have never watched Mike on Youtube or Instagram, I urge you to go and soak up his infectious energy. He’s amazing. And he’s in London, a stones throw away from where I sit drinking sugar laden hot chocolate and typing this long-awaited blog post. (I resisted the urge to start the post with “I’ve not posted in so long because of x, y, z”). 

Excited to meet Mike and a lady I’m not so familiar with called Lorna Burne, today I also open my mind to the possibility that we have angels around us to call upon as a guidance system.  I know many folks who are massive users of angels and to be honest, it’s not that I don’t believe (I do! I’ll tell you about my experience 24 hours after dad died) but it’s not something I have overly spent time looking into.  My mind and ears are open and I am so ready to soak up all that is on offer here.



So, it seems are many others; as I see people walking in the same direction as me with dream catcher earrings and purple crazy hair.  My hair is crazy today too and as I decided to wear my ‘lucky scarf’ I do hope that I belong among these people too.

When Dad died, I sat rocking in the corner of the sofa for a few hours. Yes, Literally.  I couldn’t even swallow a drink of water. How I was going to keep everything together for the rest of the family seemed like a miracle thought to me.  Later that night, I went to bed and ‘felt’ Dad around.  The lights  flickered like crazy in a fashion I have only ever seen on a movie screen previously.  I knew it was Dad.  As we turned them off and they came straight back on again. More than  bizarre.  Even though I have always believed; this was different, this was a brand new knowing.  So, do I believe in angels? I guess I already do.


Lunchtime now and I sit eating gluten free in one of my most favourite restaurants Pizza Express.  The black and whiteness that is me is also pizza express branding too.  Feels nice and just like ‘I’m Home’. 

The morning watching Mike Dooley was rather surreal. I love his energy more than ever and he speaks so much sense about living the life of your dreams and living life on purpose; something I feel I have been able to do of late as I have found a brand new affection for life when I began to realise how precious our time here on earth really is.  I’m more thankful than ever for being able to walk this planet and enjoy life. 

My eyelids remind me of the four hours of sleep I enjoyed last night as we are spending half of the day meditating. Now that’s something I hadn’t bargained for and I have to tell you my half sleeping state has actually witnessed me with more powerful meditations than ever. Some things are popping up which I had forgotten to remember. Just what I needed to pay attention to more closely. 

After being told we have a guardian angel with us every minute of every day for our entire lives, who loves us unconditionally, we are also reminded about life and how tings should be. I make no secret of the fact that my upbringing was a 'negative language' experience and this is something I frequently stumble over and need a constant reminder Now, I do feel I am living the dream consciously and I feel so, so, blessed. 
During one of the meditations in the morning session, we were asked to visualise what we want to be doing and where we want life to be. Again, you tube and blogging came up for me. Of course I will always produce books and I would love to produce more of them but I cannot ignore the strong gut feeling about keeping things alive with this blog and my Youtube channel is growing on a daily basis.

We also meditated over money, how to share it when we find a surplus  and who we want to help. I have a few ideas there.  Next came romantic love. Not love like family, friends and children (I have no struggle there - although I'm picky to only share it with those who I feel worthy)  but the romantic love is something I have struggled with for 6 years now.  An entire other blog post needs to be written around that and I’m not 100% sure I want to share where I’m at currently in opening up my heart again (or not)  but the meditation was interesting around it nevertheless.  Lorna reminded us that we should remain open to love and not allow past hurts to stop us from moving forward with new relationships. Tricky when you’ve Been through some dramas but I do hear her, and I do agree. 

After lunch, we are visiting the very interesting subject of how to live life on purpose and I’m excited for that! I’m also excited for the train ride home and the dance that’s happening tonight with my children and my friends....perhaps I am just excited for life just now, heck, I’m even excited to  clock up some more steps on my pedometer around London!




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