Sunday 23 July 2017

Shall I quit love? (A Najowrimo excert)

This excert is from my NaJoWrimo efforts as I write each day though July.  In this very open and honest post, you see me talking about why I'm thinking of quitting love.

Releasing this writing and all of July NaJo (with my personal snapshots) will be available in book form on  Amazon soon! Follow this page so you know when! 

July 14th

The Wonder of You

Strange dreams sees me awakening with an odd feeling inside my heart.  As a bride in the dream I was disappointed.  A five-minute ceremony with strangers I hardly knew left me wondering about love this morning.  Will I ever have it all?  Is there such a thing?  I watch couples on this holiday of a myriad of situations.  There is Elvis who sang Wonder of you to his wife at Karaoke in between using the microphone as an opportunity to publicly declare his love for this lady.  They were older than me, I would say late 50s and clearly had lots of love between them.

After Elvis left the stage, his wife pretty much ran from her seat to greet him with love and affection, cupping his face with her hands and planting a proper kiss on his lips.  Not proper as in French kissing but a real, heartfelt, true kiss.  She meant it.  No denying that.  They had a balance between being publically decent and showing true love.  A rare thing I feel these days.  Now when I look around the restaurant I generally see couples who have nothing to say to each other, seem disinterested or even at times one partially turns the chair away.  Of course there is the odd Tut when someone says something the other is frustrated with or has simply lost their tolerance to.  Why is that?  What happened between them?  Would it have been an affair?  Some other form of hurt which broke them forever and never quite allowed things to be the same way again.

Do you know of the film Love Actually?  Emma I forget her surname which is unforgivable as she is one of my favourite actresses yet its very early in the morning here who plays a wife who is very nearly cheated on by her husband (who buys the necklace for the secretary) at Christmas while the wife is left with the usual Jonie Mitchell CD  This realization moment is priceless as she heads to the bedroom to take a breathing moment before taking the children to the school nativity.  I cry everytime as the soft music accompanies this scene Ive looked at life from both sides now.  We fall in love with this character who seems to be the perfect mother and wife as well as sister for her grieving brother.  All things to all people as many mums are.  Yet the fact that the husband bought the necklace for the secretary (to be honest, I dont think he really wanted to at all.  It was all very awkward which would see the wife with reason to forgive him) the wife decided that she would blot her tears with the palm of her hand before taking a deep breath, painting a smile and going back to jollying the children along.  After a while we see her confront her husband with the classic line which is something like, Do you carry on, knowing it will always be a little bit broken?  What a cracking line.  It will always be a little bit broken. 

Im long enough in the tooth now to know what that line means.  You stay because its easier, because you love that person, because life gets complicated when you break up, yet; things are never the same.  Is this life?  Is this what we should accept?  We are all human after all.  None of us is ever perfect. 
Yet,  Dear Diary (open heart moment) I feel I love with all of my heart.  I would never consider treating my loved one like that if they were also loving me with a whole heart. Yet in my years of loving people, not one has.  Not one has taken that decision to put me first.  Which leaves me with the question of what is love actually about?  Was I put on this earth to discover this and write stories about it?  I have some cracking books to write based on romance stories which were real. I have also read some cracking stories.  Ones which allow me to become educated about the differences between men and women.  Books like men are from mars.  I get it.  We are different.  The same could be said for every human being.

This time in Gran Canaria was timed perfectly to get away to heal my heart.  I thought this could be something that naturally may happen.  Alas, this is not what Im feeling.  All I see with my eyes around me and feel in my heart is a lack of love except for the rare case.  This makes me want to quit love.  My twins love me with all their beating hearts.  They would never consider trading me in for a new mum or go looking for a new mum would they?  They just wouldnt.  No matter how tough things get.  Likewise I would never consider stopping making an effort for them and forgiving their wrong doings. 
Why cant husbands and wives be the same?


Monday 17 July 2017

NajoWriMo and how it's going...

What is NajowriMo?

National Journal writing month is well and truly upon us.  Are you taking part?

Do you Journal?  If so for what purpose?

*To record your thoughts?
*To brain dump?
*To get clear on wants, wishes and needs?
*To participate in Najowrimo?
*To publish your thoughts?
*To look back on in future?

Well I’m thrilled to be part of Najowrimo and I cant quite believe the changes this time is bringing me.  My mind is clearer, the ‘old me’ is coming back, my anxieties are lower and the list goes on.  I could find other reasons for feeling like this,  such as spending amazing time with my family,  being in a lovely  warm country surrounded by palm trees and suchlike. 

Really soon I will be beginning to put things into place to start publishing my writings for July.  The journey the mind can go on is incredible.  They say its because the universe can feel your clarity better.

Thoughts, wishes and needs get stronger and clearer.

Giving clarity to what’s in your mind, unscrambling. 

There is of course the love for stationary.  Many people love a good stationary shop!

Of course it’s never too late.  If you want to take part in Najowrimo, you still can…Click the link to find out more.  I will be posting my writings here.  Hope you will come back to see them.  Open hearted….Bravely.

Much love

Louise xoxo


Sunday 16 July 2017

Holiday essentials - TIPS of things you MUST do and take on holiday!

The times I have gone on holiday and thought, "I wish I had taken this or that" SO...I decided to make an on location video of essentials I thought you might find helpful.

Also, have you ever wondered what is a good idea to pack in the hand luggage?  What can you do to remember where you parked your car at the airport?  What would happen if you lost your passport?  Making all these things easier is definitely achievable when you give my little video a quick watch!

I'm just full of wanderlust stories at the moment and I'm frantically writing while I'm closer to the equator than usual.  I have so many amazing stories to share with you.  Plus a terrific saving link within my 'to do' list for holidays.  Watch this space for more REALLY soon!

Love always

Louise xoxo

Monday 10 July 2017

My journaling month #najowrimo

This page sits empty as I attempt to edit and click on 'view'.

IT's empty?  That can't be.  I'm way too busy to be journalling, yet journalling is just the thing I want to be doing.  What is stopping me?  I'm a night mare.  How can it be that I am not logging the 500 words per day I had planned for myself.

Enough times I have been quoted on the internet that this is my passion, this is what I want to be doing with my life.  Writing.

Hash tag am writing.  #amwriting - everywhere. Yet am I?  Mentally yes!

So here we are with nothing more  than a title beginning on July 1st.

NaJoWriMo.  What does that mean? Some of you may remember last July I wrote a short novel in Nanowrimo which means national novel writing month.  NaJo is national journal writing month.  I love a bit of journalling.  From the pretty stationary isle right down to the actual brain dumping and turning into manifestations.  Gosh, I feel the flow now! It's July 10th (eek almost half way through the month) and I sit in a bar in Gran Canaria hotel with glasses chinking all around me and the sound of charleston type music with plenty of clarinet playing as the professional circus act happens on a tiny stage.  Clapping and cheers of hooray stemming from the audience which includes my amazing daughter and mum.  They are enjoying the show.  I'm happy here.  Not one for home sickness as such (I have wanderlust way too much) there are several things I miss about home.  Writing at my desk being one of those things.  The lighting of a candle carefully cradled by Buddha and of course my hairy companion shihtzu puppy (who's 8) called Harley.  He's always at my side loving me.

So as I type directly onto blogger here, I am unaware of how many words I type.  Not 500 that's for sure.  Yet I'm super keen to get this post uploaded.  Yet again there is so much I have to say.  So much.  

Even though I read back through my muse and I can see my words are flowing faster than my brain which is also flowing very fast.  Am I describing everything enough to you guys?  Mr NaJo says we should write for ourselves.  Yes, I agree, yet there are a few (not many) innermost secrets I will only write for myself personally, but I digress.

Someone on the internet who I follow, love and find inspiring just brought me down.  Watching a IG live broadcast she was explaining how hard it is to make a living online these days unless you succumb to multi level marketing.  Well there certainly is a place for MLM online I agree.  Yet I disagree with all else she is saying and comments like this need to be carefully edited as dreams can get shattered.  For me, and my health issues as well as having to take care of mum now, the only choice I really have is to work online which is handy as its also what I want to do with every beat of my heart.  That dream has never wavered.  Never.  Its even there when I sleep.  Hence, sitting in a bar, missing out on the 'professional show'  -I just can't help myself.  
Love writing. 

Writing loves me.
It flows.
I love it.  Do you love it?

Are you a reader?  Do you journal? I'd love your comments below...

So this lifestyle blogger who loves to create a good book, has promised herself that NaJoWriMo will be published.  July is a definite month to watch.  Holiday, house selling, clearance, more blogging and creating VLOGS to share with you.  
Are you with me through this crazy month of July?


Sunday 2 July 2017

Weight loss and Nutrition/food

This playlist has all my diet stories videos so far.  Also there are my nutrition ideas and weight loss things as well as health...take a look...
© Louise Usher. All rights reserved.