Wednesday 15 February 2017


Waiting for physio therapy. The smell of stale cigarettes fills the waiting room. Then I sense the smell of cannabis. Who knows that Patients story. Maybe it's medicinal. 

Either way,  I don't like the smell. 
Moreover, I wonder if I waste my time as I sit with around 12 needles in the muscle that gives me such pain.  Then I remember the dread yesterday as I saw my friend heading for the massive line of steps at uni. I can climb them but it hurts. Today my butt cheeks ache. So I remember yes, goto the physio. Let him do his thing with the acupuncture. 

Test tubes surrounded us in the lab this morning as I found my way around to getting on and experimenting.  Having been the only idiot who answered the head of department when he asked who has read the protocol (with the wrong experiment), I felt ok about the day ahead.  Despite my pain, despite the poorly people at home.  I was there, in class.
Unable to stand for long, I felt the acupuncture may do some good.

Yet it has been weeks now and I feel unconvinced that this is the right thing needed for this muscle wastage.  Perhaps this muscle needs working at the gym.  Perhaps the gut needs working on with Chicken Soup.  Helps absorbance of protein.  What is going on here?  I do not want to be this person who is unable to do the things I want to do.  So once again I suffer the needles, unable to stay awake at the duration.  Unable to feel the benefit until the next day.

Positive steps in the right direction are surely what is going to help me beat this crohns and muscle atrophy?  Let's see...

Much love

Louise xoxo


Tuesday 14 February 2017

Happy Valentines Day

To all of you, Happy Valentines Day.

Do you believe in love?  I do!  I also believe there are many different types of love.

Whatever your type, belief, celebrating this February or not, I do hope your heart is a happy place you can sometimes go to and feel something lovely.

I have been broken and I have been lucky.  Right now my heart is full and it could burst.


Monday 13 February 2017

1000 subscribers on Youtube!

Goodness me! I have hit 1000 subscribers on youtube!

Some time ago when I began university, I added to my vision board that I wanted to grow my Youtube channel and here it is! I am thrilled to bits and thank you to every single one of you.  This is fantastic!

Do you know about my dream?  You can keep reading here or you can head over to youtube and see...

In the greatest gratitude

Louise xoxo


Sunday 5 February 2017

Don't stop believing

Hospital radio plays in my ears through the earphones.
An acoustic version of Don't stop believing.  

About what?  That life is good?  That we are all here to experience the joy of life.  Well I know that one and have been preaching to you guys for some years now. Although let's face it, we have our ups and downs, we are human beings.  It's what we do.
As another trolley and its squeaky wheels enters the ward right on time to take the patients blood tests I find myself feeling grateful.  Thankful for these amazing staff who not only have such tremendous patience but for the science of medicine and what it can do.  By medicine of course I mean health and the science that goes with it.  
Hospital radio produces a magazine. Immediately my entrepreneur thoughts see my advertising my nutritional services within there.  Gosh, like I don't have enough to do.  Just then I spot in the magazine that there is a need for radio presenters.  I should do that.  Entertain the patients.  I could help.  Then I remember my dream.  My dream of slowing down a little, enough to respect my health, this body, this vehicle for my spirit.  

The accompanying guitars ring beautifully in my ear.  I feel a love for this music once again. Something that has been slipping away.  Just like my thoughts.  Those positive thoughts seem to be escaping from me.  I know just as you do that the law of attraction needs working on. It's not like we forget, we just slip into the rhythm of life.  Get carried along in the negativity and the processes that often distract us from our meditation, our health kicks and our positive thinking.  
Being at the hospital so much just now, I remember just how far I have come in fixing my health - remembering the permanent underlying issues.  Yet able to ignore them if only we eat right, exercise right, sleep right.  The canteen shows a poor show of options for those with gut issues.  Pie and chips,  soup with wheat base,  sandwiches galore, if you are lucky a jacket potato, large enough to spike your blood sugar into space which of course gives us an insulin issue - then of course there is Mrs Crimbles, the promise of a gluten free coconut macaroon, seen often within the shelves.

My stomach has reminded me.  Take care.  

My eyes watering with allergies, my heart heavy with sadness.  

Thankfully, keeping within the now seems to be amazing for my mental health.  There is no time to think  - no time to be glum.  

Life is still good, still meant to be good.  

I won't stop believing.  Are you with me?
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