Focus at this time of year?

Recently, someone with a kind heart reminded me to keep a focus on this blog.

Which of course, is right.  I have never made any secret of the fact this is my total passion and I could blog every day of my life, happily.  Joyously.

On top of the editing that goes alongside Youtube, such activities can be totally overwhelming if you are aiming to just live the normal life too.

Christmas focus

Do you find yourself struggling at Christmas? 

So much to juggle.  

The decorations, keeping the family happy, the food shopping, gifts, money, as well as work.  The list goes on.

Can I let you into a bit of a confession?

I was not feeling at all like Christmas this year! Which is so unlike me.  Finally I am there.  Although I have mountains of work to get through and I'm feeling that bit of a cold thing that everyone seems to have.  That aside, my social calendar has never been so full as this year and the music, dance, smiles and people I'm mixing with are giving me smiles which last for days.  Never have I felt so alive at Christmas.

However, trying to focus on all that needs to be taken care of is close to impossible.  We take on too much perhaps?

How can we make this a positive?

See this giving season as exactly that. Giving to others. Creating a nice time for them. 

Around and around you will see the rewards coming your way for all that you want to embrace as we head into the new year.

Sending hugs to all of you who might need them at this time of reflection. As we head into the new year we are all always full of 'I'm going to leave behind in 2018....' (fill in the blank) and '2019 is going to be full of....'

But let's do the new year post all by itself really soon?  

Dear Daddy - I miss you this Christmas

This Christmas I feel like I’m having a struggle.  Why?  Good question – I’m not sure but likely a myriad of reasons.

Dad has been gone now for 3 Christmas’ and this one feels tough.  Perhaps it’s my journey I’m on, maybe it’s my own future having had a shake up that has made me feel this way, I’m not sure.

At the card shop, when I was buying the Christmas cards, a simple one with “Dad” on it saw my hand reach out and pick it up.  I bought it. I’ve written to him.

“Dear Dad

I know this might be a bit daft. But Christmas isn’t the same without you.  I wish you were here.  Not for you, of course. As I know things are better where you are.  But I want you here for me.  To help with mum.  I want to make you Tomato soup for your starter and to warm your roll in the oven.  You always appreciated these efforts. 

We never throw the sweet wrappers at each other anymore in a game of catch.  Things just aren’t the same.

But I know you are up there working your magic.  I can feel things shifting. Thanks Dad.  Life is on the cusp and it’s very nearly ‘my time’.

On Tuesday I sing in the chapel – in the choir.  Remember when we went?  Just 6 weeks before you passed.  I said I would be singing there.  Took me 2 years but this one is for you.  You’ll love ‘Glory, Glory, Glory’.  Do your trick with the lights again?  Like you did in March when we sang Oh Danny Boy. I love it when you remind me you’re not gone.  I know you never told me, but I love you Dad.

Bubba xxx”

Universal Magic around 50 shades of Grey

It's been a while since I have felt such strong manifestations around certain things.  I mean, not so long really but like.....maybe since 3 weeks. 

You might remember if you are an OG subscriber to this blog that it was born at the same time when I felt the **** was knocked out of me as I sat in the Red Sea in 2009.
Let me update you, in case you are newer to this blog and youtube channel. 

The water was still.  I sat straight legged in the shore.  Something 'waved' its way over me.  Left confused, a little upset and with a big frown of the most questioning look ever was on my face.  
As I climbed out of the water and spoke to my (then) husband, I tried explaining that suddenly I felt different.  He asked me to explain; which was impossible. 

Until this point, I was of the belief through my programming that the glass was always half empty.   My language had reflected this and I had lived a life of dis-ease and sadness.  Suddenly I realised life was supposed to be good. I felt home at this point.  Yet this started a roller coaster of emotions and life changes.

Those around me became less patient with me as they saw remarkable changes taking place in my outlook and my personality.  If you have been through this you will understand.  Likely nodding along as you read, knowing that this 'stuff' changes everything. 

Reading, watching, listening, I educated myself and the Youtube Channel and this blog were born.  Never did I imagine this would become my path...
Many, many manifestations came to light and life was unrecognisable.  Now, I sense nothing is ever impossible but frequently those limiting beliefs creep in and life feels tricky. 

My most recent manifestation or rather, art of allowing, was when I began to live the dream of writing full time.  Ok, being transparent there are, of course, other bits and pieces I do but primarily, I write.  This is being facilitated greatly by the professors at university. The support I am fortune enough to enjoy is incredible.  They have told me I have something here worth working on.  

Mind Blown.

Often, I am getting these little signs from the universe right now.  This is definitely the correct career path for me and my message is mostly to entertain but also to carry a message that ladies can believe in chivalry while being strong, independent and beautiful.  Expecting perfection is everyones right but remembering that we are human and none of us is perfect.  My protagonist is always left with hurt, doubt or less than an ideal situation...yet my message is that she is a heroine and she will be totally ok.  

My path

Knowing the path is the right one is totally beautiful and life feels incredible right now.  

More manifestations have come to me since beginning this course.
Those manifestations that come to fruition and make you shake your head in disbelief (even if, by now you should always trust the universe) and smile as wide as the cheshire cat.  
This happened to me today.  All about 50 shades of Grey.  So...what happened is this.  

We have an essay to write as a critical essay.  In other words, what was written well, not so well and all other controversial topics around it.  Being of the romance genre, I decided I wanted to ask the question to the academic if this research essay could possibly be around the topic of 50 shades of Grey! 

* What made it so popular if it wasn't great literature?
* How was the film adapted in order to make the story more convincing?
* What arguments have been had around this publication?

Happy, happy me, I saw a reply to my email (of yesterday) from the tutor.  He used exclamation marks a-plenty as he said, "I'm already excited to read this as the biggest publishing phenomenon since Harry Potter."  The email went on. Full of valid points that mean little to me at the moment but no doubt will become clear as I begin to research. 
Excusing myself from my mothers attentions at the lunch table (I was on a short fuse with her) as I replied to this exciting email that made me grin from ear to ear and as I clicked SEND, the music in the restaurant clicked on to the next track.

"Love me like you do." OMG seriously?  This was the title track to 50 shades! You have seriously got to be kidding me?!!!

Thank you, for this validation. I am on the right track with my career path, I can feel it with all of my being.  Never has my author journey felt so juicy. 

Much love, as always

Louise xoxo

Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Louise-Usher/e/B00C1KEE5E
Short fiction Romance story: Delayed: https://amzn.to/2zqCJQo

Review of Tui Blue Marmaris

My second visit to this wonderful resort (can you even call it a resort? – it’s like another world) and I’ve so much to say.

You search for a holiday and hope a few boxes are ticked.  This place has it all.

The beach is peaceful, swept constantly, stocked with comfortable beds and towels are provided (you can change these daily too). There is shade if you want it too and I chuckle how some of us move our beds to chase the sun and some chase the shade. Fish can be seen in very shallow clear water.  Even a beautiful blue kingfisher was seen early in the morning (I’m always up early!)

Two pools are spotlessly clean. One is the relax pool where folks reside to read and sleep.  I didn’t use that one.  The other pool is the activity pool and there is a little music and some games on occasions.  This was a great place for early morning sun.

Taking mum this time (Stressful mistake, my fault, nothing to do with Tui) we asked for the most accessible room possible.  I was aware this resort is not the most accessible with steps and slopes a plenty.  Yet we were totally given the most perfect room we could have wished for (I upgraded to the suite) and we managed with extra help from staff when needed.  This was very much appreciated on our arrival in the early hours when Mete (The resident Dj) offered to help us with the luggage. This is not his job and he simply did it kindly out of the goodness of his heart! Definitely going the extra mile! Speaking further of Mete, as a DJ I adored his sets. Especially on our last night – we were all buzzing after the entertainment finished (Rainbow Classix – we were all in tears at the talent!) and Mete played a selection of our requests and the dance floor was on fire! One of the very best nights of my life where friendships were cemented with other families and we all left with massive smiles on our faces.

The suite was well equipped with fantastic beds which were so comfortable (the best I’ve ever slept in!) and the showers were always perfect. 

A tricky eater, as I am celiac, food was always plentiful.  I loved eating at the Purple Turtle at lunchtime and there is always a gluten free and a vegan option as well as plenty of fresh fruit and salad.  Watching the fish during lunch swimming underfoot is fab.  Thanks to Ahmet, Sparky and Imam for their service here day after day.  Remembering your drinks, even if you’ve forgotten what you want!

Breakfast is good! The omelettes are the best in the world. Literally. Thanks Mustafa!

The a la carte restaurant is lovely service and free once per visit (regardless of length of stay). Personally, I felt the food was incredible but it’s not your typical british meat and veg if that’s your thing.

Dinner time saw us eating on the Balcony which is something I struggled with before as it was super hot in July and I preferred the air con inside.  Bayram is a star who was supported by Civan and the service again was second to none.  They had mum entertained with her strange sense of humour too!

Evening entertainment is so professional and I loved every night.  Now I’m fully aware this is all love, love, love in this post and yes, to be honest, there’s not really anything bad to say which gives me an issue of where do I go next? Will anywhere measure up?  Possibly not!  I’m a fan of live music and none of it disappointed.  My favourites being the Golden Tones on a Saturday night. The place rocks! In this area Erkan is a fantastic server of drinks and remembers a massive long list somehow.  Baris and his brother on the bar inside shake those cocktails to perfection.

Anther reviewer mentioned they ran out of Baileys.  Yes, for 24 hours.  And if that is all we can complain about….

Watersports: I wish I had gone out on the jetski. Next time.  There are kayaks for free to use and many other choices and these guys down there are so super helpful and friendly.

To be honest, you could easily use this place as a health retreat too. The gym is well equipped (there are scales in there too if you want to be obessed with your weight) and outside areas to work out in.  Several sports are on offer and I would recommend the early morning Yoga which overlooks the water and mountains.  Totally perfect for Bliss and grounding.  Ella was the Yoga lady last week and her knowledge is superb. She spent a lot of time with me (I have health issues) and was so helpful for making a forward plan during my stay. 

There are juices freshly prepared for the mornings. You can chose healthy eating, there is plenty here to chose from.

My one suggestion would be to offer more gluten free dessert. Other than fruit or chia seed pudding there was not much choice and I heard others mention this too.  It was a good thing for me as I dropped 7lbs in two weeks (which was my plan).  Although really, there is absolutely nothing negative to say. This resort has it all. The gardens are beautiful. There are some amazing walks and you could watch the changing landscapes forever….

Use the link to book next time *contains affiliate link

Done your best?

Sometimes you can only ever do your best. 


If that turns out not to be good enough, try and let go. 



When you do, life feels better.

Life lessons

Almost time to go home. 🌪 rollercoaster. 

Learning curves. 

Shocks and twists and turns. 

💫 mental health hanging on in there with a few wobbles 

Trips away and epiphanies seems to be a thing. 🏄🏼‍
 Should you keep on these learning adventures despite the Highs and lows? 

Yeah. 
I guess. 
Despite the brain racing and lack of sleep 🇹🇷 Life is blah when it’s flat. 

The ups need to be celebrated and the downs white knuckle ridden. 🌊 But always, always try and keep strong knowing those who love you are always there. 

Phew. Deep. 

👩‍💻 plenty of writing has occurred and such inspired stories. 

So where next? 👠👠

Respecting yourself

Respecting this life of mine. 

It’s had its moments. 

Back in hospital next week but I gotta say, taking time to look after myself, eat right, move more, chill, bask (ignore the alcohol and lack of ability to sleep) coupled with digging VERY deep to find some self love and I reckon my soul and spirit will love Me for it. 

Gotta love and respect yourself right?

Being a YouTuber

This trip has been more enlightening than I would have imagined.

Thinking I was bringing mum away on her last trip of her life (although I have said that before) to give her a nice time is about as far as I had thought.

Yet within just a few days of being on this beautiful peninsula, and here I was realising that there was an energy shift.  Just like I had back in Egypt in 2009.  Strange.  Unexplainable.
How does this happen?  I wasn't sure.

Julia started it! She and I were watching 'Strings at Sunset' and she spoke to her husband about me.
"I'm sure that's Louise who we watched on Youtube." And came over to ask me.  Yes it was me.  This was a little surreal.  She continued to tell me how she had found the videos helpful and watched several of them.  Wow.  I loved that.
As the week continued, other new friends came and introduced themselves as viewers too.  Often we would just pass each other and they would let me know how helpful my work has been to them.  Ha.  Work.  I love that.  Talk about the best job in the world.  So, yes it is hard work at times but such a blast.  Love it.  Knowing that it's not just out there in the ether is exciting. People are finding this helpful.  And I love making them.

So now I knew what I needed to do with my life.
Which is handy as being here and places like this are helping me to feel so much better in myself physically and mentally.

Going back home sees lots of editing needing to go on which I'm excited to upload. Especially now that this is helping people.  The future looks bright.

Cat friends

My new friend

I love travel.
No secret there

But when it’s outside of the UK I do miss Harley. Bless him.
More a dog person than cat person, I don’t really care where the love comes from when furry friends are around.

In Turkey, these cats seem to know I need some love and just surround me, chatting away and rubbing their whiskers on me 🐾🐾

Lucky?

Particularly sassy

These cats are well taken care of - what a great place to live!

Halloween - Evil. Horror. Fear.

Halloween

I'm not a fan, I must be honest.

The thought of fear being instilled into people...

As a creative, my mind is easily spiked to include manifestations of the most horrific kind that purely and surely couldn’t be true.

I’m much more an “I believe in angels and magic” type of person.  Thinking of Halloween as something evil and inviting bad spirits around isn’t a welcome thing at my door!

Last year, a simple drive to collect my daughter saw me drive past some child size teddy bear thing on the pavement. Strange. As I drove closer I couldn’t help but take my eyes off the road and stare.  The head of this creature seemed to stare straight into my soul and cocked his head to one side with increasing intensity of weirdness.  Freaked out, I began to wonder if I had imagined this. I’d never seen anything like it before.

Yesterday, a parcel arrived for me. It was ‘prep’ for an upcoming biopsy I have to have. UGH.  31^st October.  More horror to add to this day.  So where is the light in this shade?

2 years ago my mother came to live with us.  People love her.  She laughs at everything. Which is wearing, you can imagine.  She and I are chalk and cheese.  She has dementia and the laughter and chatty side of her is magnified. 

Her old house was in an area of town where they used to put  up signs saying “No trick or treaters” as it was constant knock knock knock at the door to the point of driving everyone crazy.

Yet in my road, there are rules. If you have a pumpkin out, it means you can knock.  Despite my surgery that day, we will be well stocked with ‘treats’ and I will leave mum in charge! Opening the door to well dressed children while parents stand back looking on.  No doubt mum will love the banter and if it puts a smile on her face for a few hours, there is nothing evil about Halloween at all.