Friday, 15 October 2021

How to do nothing.


 

Yesterday, work had been challenging. And then Mum’s ‘stuff’ became a challenge too. 

She has heart failure. The nurse came out to see her. They had asked me to be present as Mum needed another ECG. Getting her metal off was a challenge. So much jewellery. 

     “Is your bra underwired?” the nurse asked.

     “Don’t ask me, wouldn’t have a clue,” Mum replied. And she wouldn’t. She never seemed to know the features and benefits of a good bra. And it seems to not matter now. She’s 82. It matters if it has metal, which affects the ECG. It doesn’t really matter what her boobs look like, in the scheme of things. 

     The nurse was stressed. She was thirty minutes late. I was thankful she came at all. She was in my diary. But I can’t be sure of many things these days. My memory isn’t what it used to be. So, here we were, late, rushing and fumbling about in a house that felt like a sauna. 

     Nooks and cranny’s, a broken ECG machine, no internet, no phone signal, a sweaty nurse, an unhelpful Mum, and a daughter who was listing the symptoms, lack of symptoms and current sleeping pattern,

     “yes, that’s all fine. But I will ask symptoms in a little while,” she told me. 

 

     The armchair wasn’t squishy, like mine, but it was good enough to support my slump backwards, as I surrendered to the day. Sigh. What a day. My fringe covered the back of my hand as I rubbed my forehead.  Headache. Again.

     After an hour, and lots of handwriting, the nurse left. 51 BPM. Slow again. 90 spo2. Low again. She blames the nail varnish, like most of them. But it’s been the same for 5 years, nail varnish or not. And, no, apparently, she doesn’t have COPD, despite her smoking history. 

     I refrain from mentioning that I’m taking my Doctorate in Health Sciences. They don’t like that. They would far rather I just randomly tapped into Dr Google and was a busy body know-it-all. 

     Okay. 

     Can’t be bothered to protest. Mum is happy enough. And apparently ready to go see Dad and my brother.  So, I have given up the fight, just a little.

     “I’ll just check your fridge Mum, then I’ll pop to see Harley.” Mum was happy with all of that. Her cup of ‘fuss’ was full.

 

Harley was so vocal. Going round in circles as if he had a couple of vodka and tonics. Twelve and a half now. Bless him. My heart melted as he asked me to stroke him, first in line, despite him being alone all morning. There and then, I decided we were going out. We both needed it. 

     I could work from Starbucks, and he could sit in the floor-to-ceiling window and watch the world, and other dogs, go by. Both of us were as excited as each other. 

     Americano. Water. He had first dibs on the water. That was so cute. An Instagram moment was my initial thought. Then I decided I would sit and hold him. Like a toddler, sitting on my lap. Since he couldn’t walk so well, his feet were dusty and black. I touched his paw. It flipped backwards and forwards in my hand as the joint acted as a hinge. I got lost in this moment, and flipped his paws about some more, smiling to myself and chatting quietly to him. My left hand reached into my bag and pulled out my Metaphysical book. I should read. I hadn’t worked enough. I set the book on the table and adjusted Harley’s position on my lap. His paws, somehow, ended up in the palm of my hand again. 

     This was most unusual, but I had an urge to sit with him, drink my coffee and flip his paws about. I could have squeezed him with my love. A happy moment. My dog, me, the coffee, doing nothing. 

 





 

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Sunday, 26 September 2021

Sometimes, doing unimportant things is the important thing.

 Finding Lou again.

 

We have all hidden a part of ourselves for the past 18 months. We had no choice. Yet a big part of me was nurtured into becoming the writer I’ve wanted to be since forever ago. And I loved that. 

 

Something wasn’t right, and I didn’t know what.

 

Something still might not be. But one thing is for sure, I have just found a missing piece of my puzzle. 

This last weekend was a time of music, dance, indulgent smiles. 

 

Sometimes, doing unimportant things is the important thing. 

 


What do we want from life? Happiness, freedom, enough-ness. And none of that comes from washing the dishes or doing the important things which we don’t really want to do. But it’s a catalyst into getting there.

 

You see, my life, just like yours, is full of things I don’t want to do. Being a carer, changing the bed, working when I want to nap. 

Take the first thing, being a carer. I don’t want to be a carer. I have always wanted a successful career; only one letter difference, add one E.


     “Well, she looked after you when you were little, now it’s payback time,” they say. That’s what they wrongly assume. 

Dad was the looker-after parent, mostly. Mum was always busy, smoking and reminding us that if we didn’t leave her alone while she ‘had a fag,’ she would end up in the funny farm. 

     “What, you wanna see me in the funny farm?” she would shout.

 

     “Well, you do it because she is your mum, and you love her,” they say. Again, wrongly assume. Those words have never been exchanged between me and my parents. Void, like the embrace, encouragement and pride. 

 

Holding on to that doesn’t serve me. Cracking on and just doing what needs to be done is the best way, by far. All while continuing my career. 

“You’ll need to bring her back on the 27th to have her stitches removed.” I tapped my phone and checked my diary. 

Working. 

What now? 

Still haven’t figured that just yet, but I will. 

 

Scheduling the week isn’t something I like to do. But my productivity isn’t where it needs to be. 

I journal. 

I complain. 

I list:

Writing.

YouTube.

PhD.

Working at the university.

Hairdressing.

Mum.

Twins.

House.

Gym.

My health.

Hospital visits.

Property developing.

eBay mum and dads collectors’ items.

I do need to be more positive and realise what an amazing life I really have. And it is. The YouTube thing feels all over the place – I’ll get up to date with it and focus on travel…” I continue to try and inspire and motivate myself, just as I do with others through my mentoring role. 

 

There truly is too much going on. And the items which can be removed from the list are the things that I am passionate about (which is likely why they are at the top of the list).

 

I watched a video on YouTube detailing getting from A to B. “Turn down anything that isn’t on that line from A to B.” A lightbulb went off. 

And it was inspirational. 

She is right. 

But turning those things down can sometimes prevent bills from being paid, we think. Writing this isn’t paying the bills, but it goes some way towards my clarity, which will. Does that make sense to you? Read over it again if it doesn’t. 


What do you love? For me, it’s writing and travel. Putting those two things together can absolutely work, even in loose terms. For instance, someone I follow has several strands to her business. She talks about the law of attraction, like me, and sells amazing necklaces which have inspirational quotes. Great! It works for her. Writing travel stories sounds like it could work, right? 

Finding Lou isn’t easy when there are commitments involving other people. But putting oneself first is of absolute necessity. Let’s start digging, find us, and our buried dreams. 

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Saturday, 25 September 2021

Please don't wish away our seasons.

 Please don’t wish away our seasons.

 

Evenings are darker, cosy. I’m focused. Lighting candles is cute as pie, but I don’t want summer over.






Why do we post online about ‘feeling autumnal’? 


So we can light pumpkin candles and film a home sense haul?


Next, it will be excitement bundled into soft white fairy lights on top of a decision to ‘real-tree or not to real-tree’. 


January, we speak of the most depressing days, darkness and eager wishing time away moods.  


Finally, crocuses, spring, sunbeams trying hard. We rejoice before heading to the shops for summer wear. My feet long for sand, all-inclusive cobblestones and free towel exchanges on the sunbeds. 


September, school is back, dew on the grass. 


November, frost, fireworks, bonfire-lit faces. 

 

Our seasons all bring joy. Embrace those moments, for all that they are. 









If we don’t know winter, we can’t know summer, if we don’t know joy, we can’t know sadness. Light and shade, ups and downs. Human experiences are defined by moments of wonder, surprise, newness. 


Let’s not wish away these precious seasons.




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Sunday, 22 August 2021

Finding the right Yoga teacher for tricky health conditions

 For the first time ever, I took myself into child’s pose and hid my face as I encountered a meltdown. Yoga and I have a love/hate romance going on. It helps so much with the pain and stiffness of Ankylosing Spondylitis. 

It’s huge.

But it hurts.

And it’s tough.




 

People think that yoga is sitting crossed legged on a mat and chanting. There is some of that. And our Yogi lady lights some nice smelling herbs too. But goodness, what a workout. My recovery time is often five days or more. But I love it and I believe it helps me into the next day, next year, next decade.

     My aim? To be my most independent, fittest, self. Despite challenges, which someone on Instagram recently reminded me, ‘we all have those.’ I removed the post, which was hoping to be inspirational, not a pity party with oneself. I’m not going down that route with my health news. Even though I feel I can help others and educate them through my life-long learning with this. People tell me what I should do or encourage me: ‘sounds like you are on the right track,’ as if they know me better than I know myself. They mean well, I know. 

After yoga, it was time for coffee. Two hours in Starbucks and a long chat with my amazing daughter and best friend, and my world seemed brighter. 

     “What’s your favourite genre or niche?” She asked me. What a great question! I answered that it’s the life writing stuff, the journaling, blogging. About life, and whatever that means to someone. I like seeing people tell me about their travel plans and trips, their ups and downs, their health triumphs, their love stories. That was enough ‘figuring out’ for one day.

     The Yogi we found this year is a blessing. She is a gentle spirit, I can tell. She lets me do me. She didn’t mind that I sat in Childs pose for ten minutes. I don’t even know if she noticed me trying to blot my silent tears on my badly chosen t shirt. I hoped there wasn’t mascara over my face. I also hoped I didn’t need to blow my nose. A couple of sniffs and a firm few words with myself saw me gather my composure once again. 

     I was frustrated, sore, stiff; but determined. I would do what I could, from where I was, with what I’d got. And hope that it might be enough to make some improvements. The alternative was to do nothing, and that was not an option. I wasn’t a quitter. Even if I was delicate. 

     My first yoga classes were at a very different gym, one where ‘those type of girls’ would intimidate you with a look. Someone old and overweight joined the class. Good for her, I thought. She couldn’t sit on her knees. The class leader said, ‘yes you can, just use a block.’ The lady never came back again. My recovery time from those classes was seven days. I tried the other classes, at my posh gym.  Those were full of older women, retired from work and lots of classes to look forward to. They liked their mat in a particular place. I entered that sacred place one Thursday morning and goodness, I was informed how wrong that was. I picked up my mat and left, cried, never went back. 

Yesterday, the class ended. I was strong enough to look our yogi in the eyes and not fall into an ‘end of the world’ sob. 

     “Thank you, that was amazing.”

     “How are you?” she asked me with a queried look on her face,

     “Sore today,” and I was able to thank her for her patience. She has no idea what a difference that made to my Yoga experience. This practice is good for me. I must keep my focus, my will, my tenacity.

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Monday, 2 August 2021

Missing Pina Colada?


Do you remember last week we spoke about someone always being there for you? Well, this video reminds us why we are feeling more alone than usual. We have missed the 'touching base' of an exchange at the coffee shop, the swim-up bar on holiday, the 'good morning' to the security guard on the way into the office. Some of us might love more quiet time, more time alone, but it will impact that thought of feeling like we might not have the usual support network we are used to. Things are beginning to return to more of a normal way of life now. When travel opens up, we can start to make new friends once again as we sip a pina colada at the pool side and listen to some latino type music.

Click here to see this video discussing this

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Tuesday, 15 June 2021

Elon Musk helped us get published

 It's been a year.


We have been on the bestseller list and now have book two almost ready for publication.


Finally, I looked up the story which allowed us to get published: the story of Elon Musk telling amazon to stop us from speaking about lockdown. 



This happened and then I had a huge number of messages asking, "Lou, is this you?" It wasn't me. But it likely propelled us onto Amazon and then the bestseller list,

Forever thankful.  

Find out more about the current book and what else might be new news here: https://www.louiseusher.co.uk/p/my-diary.html


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Monday, 14 June 2021

Keeping positive when we don't know what is happening.

Today, we will see another Government announcement from Boris. Will we be out of lockdown in a weeks time? It's rumoured not, but we don't know. How are we expected to plan our life during this time? It's so tricky to know what to think and how to keep positive. The reason is that we want to think rationally and logically and right now we have no idea what that looks like.


Remember, what you think about, you bring about: and keeping positive will help us get through these uncertain times. There is so much to be grateful for, always, even if it is hard to think of those things. Just try and remember how far we have all come and how far you have come yourself. Things will change, and they must change. But I know you can find some positive aspects to lockdown. And when you think of those positive things, more positive things seem to appear like magic. If you have never tried it, try it now. Honestly.

Try to stay in the NOW rather than looking forward and wondering. Now is all we have, and focusing on that is a fantastic anxiety reliever.

Sending you much love

Louise xoxo
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Thursday, 3 June 2021

YouTube want me to do this with my channel - I can’t BELIEVE IM TELLING YOU THIS

 Why did I start my Youtube channel? 

 






Ten years ago, when I discovered the power of the Law of Attraction, I was in a frenzy to make sure I spread the word to everyone. Why didn’t everyone know this?

 

Shock! They did. Well, not everyone but lots of people did. I was late to the party. But in that time, I have gathered a brilliant tribe together – all of you! And you have no idea how amazing it is to create videos for you.

 

Although, I have been on some journeys with this channel as it seems to have carried me along through a meandering river downstream with ease. We have enjoyed travel vlogs most of all on this channel and I love creating those. But it can be confusing when you are trying to create content for the masses. They often swing by, find out what they need to know and jog off again… which is completely fine but I want us to go deeper. Like, really deep. I have stories to share of inspiration and motivation and I would love you to be able to create a better life for yourself, like I have. 

 

I wrote in my notes: ‘Who is this channel now – I’m not sure’ but I am sure. We are a group of people who grow every day as we travel through life together in a metaphorical sense and a literal journey. Are you with me?



Love, as always


Louise xoxo




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Tuesday, 1 June 2021

Do you want to go on holiday?

 Me too! I want to go away.



It's proving tricky right now, isn't it? All this talk of vaccine passports and quarantine. Now, I am looking at this beautiful possibility - a UK Cruise.

I'm a well-travelled woman but I have never been on a cruise. I'm sure I would love it, but I'm slightly nervous about looking out and seeing only water, so a tour of the UK is surely going to be close enough to quash that worry.  You think?

So, I have my eye on this cruise from Southhampton on August 14th 2021, it heads all the way up to the Orkney Islands and back again. How amazing. A few stop off's and some sightseeing along the way and just wow.... this new Tui Marella Cruise is a definite possibility to make you feel like you have enjoyed a true holiday. 


Have a look at the links here: These amazing Tui UK cruises could be exactly what you need and what you are looking for in Summer 2021 as we are discouraged from travelling to many parts of the world. 

 

My favourite is the 6 night Cruise to the Orkney Islands. At only £779, it’s great value as food and drinks are included alongside incredible entertainment. 

 

Have a look at all the details here: even if it is only to dream. 

 

Http://tui-uk.7cnq.net/kj4vqM











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Saturday, 22 May 2021

Reading blogs to you on Youtube (with captions) kind of like an audio blog?? What do you think?


 In this video we will chat about a new idea I've had.


I'm a big fan of listening to peoples stories on video. Sometimes, reading makes me tired. But also, you might know, I'm also deaf. So, I am thinking of reading you some of my popular short stories, blog posts, and even parts of my books. These videos will be subtitled for Deaf/deaf people and there will be sound for those with visual impairments. what do you think? good idea? What stories would you like to see here? Here's an example of a fiction story I wrote and read but without any visuals: https://youtu.be/PY-ngU5kkHo I plan to mostly film me reading them but sometimes (guided visualisations for example) might have a still picture but some captions. This follows on from the amazing comments you guys left me in response to the motivational Monday videos which you can watch here: Is this the end for Motivational Monday?: https://youtu.be/lNo8XcehaNs We are keeping Motivational Mondays: https://youtu.be/xrBOISP0A1E



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Monday, 17 May 2021

Since when did blogs stop becoming blogs?

Years ago, when blogging became a thing, it used to be more than acceptable to write about one's lifestyle, thoughts and feelings. A kind of journal if you like. Then bloggers, like me, started to look at the numbers and realised that people wanted to learn something, be entertained or be interested in something you had to say.


I get that. Totally. 


Then, blogs started to be the new word for websites. Or part of a website. It's almost unacceptable to not have a blog section on a company website now. Great! I love that idea.  

But... if you know me, you'll know I DO love to journal every morning. And while the pages keep my secrets between me and them, I do love to share some thoughts online too. Here, on my blog and over on my Youtube channel.  it seems all about analytics these days.


We are blessed to be able to work online, earn while you sleep, automate, automate... 

Yes, we are. 

But where are all the blogs these days? I love to read about lives. We all do, otherwise, there would be no such thing as Instagram. True? Personally, I love a good blog. A bit of a brain dump. 

Sometimes, you have to strike while the iron is hot. Just the other day I had a wonderful idea for a blog when I took the dog to a pub overlooking the sea between Kent and France, sitting there, eating chips, not realising they tasted like curly fries, which are gluten covered. Ending up poorly and having to adjust to life for the next few hours. Seagulls ahead, my dog watching the passers-by, the scent of seaweed hanging in the air like fog...

I had this wonderful story. But it has escaped me now. I spent too long thinking about it and over-analysing the idea that a blog shouldn't be a blog, like that. But rather some over-thought thing. Well, no more. This blog is a blog. I will tell you about life, about trips, about the academic journey I find myself on. The fact that my fingers FLY over this keyboard when I write like this (in Starbucks, no less, hello 17th May 2021).





If you are up for all of that, say yeahhh and send me some details of other blogs (which are around), like this. Let's begin to journal more, share thoughts, create stories. If we don't, we leave a legacy untold. 

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Tuesday, 4 May 2021

We are going to Tui Blue Scheherazade

 Finally, it is almost time to travel. Want to see where I have chosen as my first place to fly?

Book it here!

 

tui-uk.7cnq.net/P0OVNM

 

Jasmine and I are set to fly here in September. The place looks amazing.

An adult-only hotel is brilliant for us now that my children are grown up. We love the entertainment of an adult only. And while this hotel is known for the wonderful views of the beach (right next to the resort!), you can see the pool from most of the rooms too. 








 

 

We have booked a Junior Suite with Sea View and Balcony and I can’t wait! I love nothing more than waking up, pulling back the curtains and looking at the sea. The sun rises over this sea and the horizon takes your eye to the lush egg-shaped chairs and Balinese style beds which are waiting for us to come and relax on them!

Our room has a/c, a balcony, a double bed, a lounge area, and a sea view. An early riser, I’m likely to enjoy that view on the balcony while Jasmine gets herself ready for the day ahead.

 

This hotel used to be called the Tui Sensimar Scheherazade. 

 

Halfway between Sousse and Port el Kantaoui, we decided we might grab a taxi and visit the harbour town nearby. They always make for great people watching and a lovely backdrop to fill up that Instagram feed. Shops are only 100m away, so that’s handy. 

 

For information, there needs to be a tax paid on arrival. It’s 2 Tunisian Dinars PP PN for 3-star hotels and 3 Tunisian dinars PPPN for 4 and 5 stars. Under 12s don’t pay. The maximum charge is for 7 nights.


Hear all the news in this video.


 

There are 204 rooms over 4 floors and thankfully two lifts. 

Three restaurants to chose from and two of those are A la carte. One trip is free per holiday. The buffet-style restaurant has something for everyone. There is a dress code for the restaurant and everyone is rumoured to comply nicely with the request. 

 

Trip advisor reviews currently sit at an impressive 4.5stars. Those who have been have said wonderful things. One of my favourite comments is about the heated swimming pool. Good!

Also, the staff carry a great reputation for taking good care of visitors. And that includes the management. Security is said to be as tight as can be. 

I’m excited to have a quick go in the spa, and definitely in the gym. 

 

tui-uk.7cnq.net/P0OVNM




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Tuesday, 6 April 2021

How do you know what to post online?

 The blackout curtains usually spilled a little light through the gap at the top, just above the curtain rail, but it was still black as night. I turned to my right and tapped the phone screen with the tip of my index finger. Propped in the edge of my open drawer unit for ease, it lit up the screen instantly.  

 

04:03.

Black as night. 

 

I laid for a while, wondering. Might this be it for the night? Could I drift back to sleep? Even though I was already comfortable, I shifted between my bedsheets to get even more snuggled and ready for slumber. Then began the writing within my head. 




 

In the garden on Sunday, I’d been writing in my head, “I’m writing in my head again,” I called to my daughter as I tried hard to pull up a weed.

     “That’s a good thing.”

     “It is isn’t it, it’s been a while,” I said to her. 

 

I laid, writing in my head. Feeling the double French braids pricking the side of my cheek, knowing a cascade of waves would generate smiles in the coming day. It would be a busy one this week. Those thoughts consumed me. Within a short while until I was back to writing again. A swirl of thoughts joined in, this time the sounds were recurring about a blog post I will write about The Bold Type, a series from Netflix.

Awake-dreams about the milk tray man sat in my head for quite some time. I tapped the phone again.

 

04:45.

Coffee was calling.

 

Might as well get up, I thought and reached for the switch on the salt lamp. As the orange glow filled the room, I unfolded my glasses arms and put them on. Somehow, I ended up scrolling on Pinterest. What do people want? What should we be posting? I mean, I know what I like to post and want to post. Often, they want travel from me. Sometimes that feels like a waste of my academic brain as I was in that industry way before I knew what a periodic table was. But if that’s what they want….

Sometimes, I just want to write those stories which are in my head. 

My Instagram is fairly stuck. Youtube grows at a snail pace since the airports were grounded for non-essential travel. The books I write, do well to a specific audience. But how are we supposed to know? One platform favours the quick little reels, one favours 45-minute videos talking about the day.

 

Philosophy of life is consuming my workday at the moment. Of course, there is so much more to it but the experience of being a human is just my complete and utter obsession. What do people feel? How do they think? What makes them tick? How do they love? Have they been hurt? Writing about that might have a tiny audience, who knows, but what I do know is that it takes one person to touch one life and make a difference.

 

I’m over 50 now, with a belief that age is a number. I didn’t just start believing that because I'm over 50. I was more settled and grown-up before my first heartbreak at 18. Now, I probably float around 29 years old, with accompanying battle-scars and some clue into what makes life great.

Telling someone else how to make their life great, needs a little creative smocking. We can all do that, with some skill, but each of us is individual. What makes us click on a post, read it, love it, want more, digest and remember it: all different to the next person.

 

I lay awake in the dark of the night, writing in my head, hoping the sky turns to the blue of the ocean because the day is coming then, and I won’t be so afraid of going downstairs on my own. You might lay awake wondering what this year's crop will be like, or how Bitcoin is performing. You and I will be different.

 

Who knows what to post? Even the algorithm will change its mind one day to the next. There can only be one answer.  Post what you want to post. Think about what you would like to see or read. Post that. See what happens. 

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Saturday, 20 March 2021

World sleep day is here

 


Oh yes, definitely is a need for three candles today.


πŸ•―πŸ•―πŸ•―


The last week has been difficult. Concentrating has escaped me. With a poorly daughter, and a mum taken into hospital (who I usually care for) things have been very different around here.



Yesterday, while trying to fix things in the house, some pretty hefty stuff fell on top of my head. I know that sounds comical, and I do have the bump that you would see in Tom and Jerry, but it made me feel a little less dynamic.

πŸ€•


So today, we journal, we Potter, and we take an easy road where possible. Sometimes it’s not always about being kind to others but also kind to yourself too. It is also world  sleep day today. So before we change the clocks next weekend, why don’t you get yourself an extra bit of rest tonight.

πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ›πŸ’€πŸ’€


My research has shown that it’s so incredibly important for health to get the right amount of sleep. It’s not too much or too little, it’s just the right amount. Just like Goldilocks. I wish you an amazing day, And a wonderful weekend.

πŸ‘©‍πŸ”¬πŸ§«πŸ”¬πŸ§ͺπŸ“–πŸ–‹

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Sunday, 14 March 2021

Bluewater is empty during lockdown

 Apple Genius bar is still open. Thank goodness.






My desktop Mac is having some difficulty with waking up to enough speed to keep up with it's younger version of the laptop. Well, since starting my Doctorate, I've realised, a couple of screens is essential. 

I was excited to drive, to wear my sunglasses, to sing loudly and to feel like a little bit of 'normal' life was going to be a part of my day. Since my daughter has been unwell (see the story here) I have not left her side. But I made sure she was comfortable and not going to leave her room in the duration I was away at the huge, beautifully designed shopping centre called Bluewater. 



Walking through the centre, I was shocked. it was completely empty. silent. I could hear my footsteps. 


as I snapped photos to share with you here, I was thinking. I sent a silent voice from within my head to the shops, the upturned chairs, the darkened rooms, "it won't be long."


The plan to open is April 12th. Let's hope that is the case. 

This was the best day ever. Started full of love, the sun shone, the music was amazing, I lost my voice with singing (always a good sign), the Apple staff were amazing as always, and I did grab a takeaway Starbucks too. Perfect.  Life is good. It's coming back to us in Kent. 










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