Sunday 31 May 2020

I had another baby boy

...in last nights dream.

Which was so crazy! This baby had the usual soft skin when you held him, and the loveliest eyes. When I introduced him to my (actual) son, he held him close and I took an arty photo of the two of them to post on Facebook,
"When my two sons meet for the first time," to a shocked audience! No wonder, so would I be. My son is 20 now and my children are IVF babies, born after 9 years of fertility treatment and several miscarriages.

Why on earth would I have this dream? Well, we are currently fixing our house and I'm struggling with overwhelm. I won't deny there have been big worries about 
* my bad back
* money
* the workers
* am I up to this?
* being single
but my son sat at the end of my bed while I mopped my tears and told me it would be okay, they will all help, I will take my vitamins and he will take me on a walk before any of it starts.

Later on yesterday I posted a photo, an old one, on Instagram. I titled it:

"so proud of how far we've come in these last 21 years, just us three. They are now taking good care of me. I'm super lucky with my little family"



It's a surreal feeling to think that now I'm beginning to need some looking after too. I'm glad to have given my time to them and create these lovely humans. I have some awesome people in my life but these two youngsters are there for me every day, in every way and I love them dearly for all that they given while expecting nothing in return.

There will be no more babies, that's for sure but why try again when I got it right the first time. 
That little baby boy in the dream was such a sweetheart though, is it mad to say I miss him?

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Monday 25 May 2020

How to travel blog during lockdown

Gosh, tricky times now in the life of a travel blogger or Vlogger.



What to do?

Here's my plan: get local. We are now able to visit local places, although I have tried this and I must confess there is a little anxiety coming with this as other people seem less worried about social distancing than I would like.  Nonetheless, I do have a long list of other video ideas to pop in my youtube channel. Such as 
* the best and worse places I have been
* places on my wish list
* when I plan to travel again
* how I manage to find great deals
* updating others on how to cancel their holidays
* getting refunds

Meanwhile, I have been to a couple of my favourite places in Kent. 
Both with strong links to Charles Dickens.

Broadstairs and Rochester

The last trip to Rochester was beautiful. See these photos and don't forget to enjoy the music I have added to this Vlog. 




Rochester Castle




The first restaurant I worked in

This beautiful old post box - i'd never noticed it before!

Rochester Cathedral

I love the name of this place "Quills"

Pretty place. Love the chimney

Olivers - a fab restaurant and bar in Rochester

Traditional Red telephone box



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Wednesday 20 May 2020

PUBLICATION day! 20 may 2020 - Covid -19 How it made us feel

I'm SO excited (and proud) to announce that against the odds, we have our anthology on iBooks. Thank you Apple for being superstars and hosting this ebook. 
The print version is coming within two weeks, if you want a copy (they will be limited) please reach out and I will pop you on the list. Meanwhile, if you can't wait, or you love an ebook, let me present you this collection from some amazing writers who wrote from the heart!

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Tuesday 19 May 2020

A different Corner

May 3rd – Sundays are usually sad days

The law of attraction is strong in my world today. After hearing Mike Dooley and his message (and, seeing how they are accepting submissions from bloggers and other law of attraction writers, oh yes I will submit thank you) things began to show me my power. The universe was poking me in the ribs saying, here you go.
     I feel excited for this book. The future feels brighter than I think it has ever felt before. I can see how my writing career is really beginning to take off and I feel like I should keep at it (well, I can’t stop it anyway, let’s be honest). Visions of me being interviewed are in my mind and answering questions on podcasts. I can see and more importantly, feel, this coming together now. After it being my dream forever.



Working out in my bedroom after a 5k walk, I was so happy. I decided to increase that energy a little more. I took my iphone and lifted it to erase the black screen, and chose to play some music. I chose Wham!  
     I had shown my son a picture disc yesterday of Club Tropicana so perhaps that was still on my mind, in the grey matter somewhere. I picked up the brown record box with an unsuccessfully half removed sticker on it of Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran, containing my 7” singles. My son, who was born in the era of CDs asked,
    ‘are they mini vinyls?’ and I couldn’t help but chuckle. Not at him, just at the language and the fact I was 30 years older than him even though we all seemed like friends in my house. I explained the 33 and 45rpm situation and the extra piece of record player you sometimes had to add in the middle if a bigger hole was cut away from the vinyl. I never did understand why they did that.      Removing ‘Planet Earth import from China’ from its plastic cover with the most careful use of my fingers, my son watched as if he was learning something intricate and important. I also explained how finger marks were not allowed and nor were scratches, so care and fragile handling was always needed. 
But today, it was digital music on my phone and the Edge of Heaven would surely add to my workout on my little piece of bedroom floor. 
     I was trying to recall the PT who was entering my living room via Zoom on Wednesday, and picturing the type of push ups which are effective on the triceps, when the music automatically clicked on to the next track. Even though it was an extended version, that first few bars of deep and slow double bass playing made me sit up, stop my work out and an audible ‘ohh’ left my mouth. I sat back on the heels of my feet and stared at the wall paper opposite. 
     ‘oh God.’
     ‘A different corner’ by George Michael transported me. I instantly knew the track and felt my mood become sad and introverted.  I went back there. I could see the flicker of a pretty, small oil lamp as the only light in my small bedroom. Five feet wide and seven feet long. Just big enough for a single bed, small wardrobe and a carefully placed second hand black glass table at the side of my bed. I could still walk up and down the room. My childhood bedroom.  I recall laying on my bed and stretching my feet over to the wall opposite. I was the same height then as I am now. Five foot three and three quarters; just long enough to reach the other side. The lilac gloss paint always felt cold on my bare feet but I liked that, especially through the night. I’m not sure why we used gloss, maybe that’s what we had left over, maybe Dad just liked gloss. 
     The table at the side of the wardrobe housed the oil lamp and my mono record player. Stereo kind of happened in this room anyway as the sound bounced off the walls and Steve always got the new stuff, so he had the stereo and I had his old mono. Did it matter? Of course not, I could play my beloved vinyls on them. They were in their neat boxes underneath the table and my orange Bontempi keyboard stacked on top of those. See, it did all work In this room, it just needed a little care. 
     Dad brought home ‘computer paper’ from work which had holes all the way down both sides, was perforated between each sheet, folded consontina style and had green stipes right the way across. I could write nice and neatly with my pen across those green lines, so long as I was sat on the floor and used my bed as a desk. Writing, playing music and trying to teach myself the keyboard in my little room were the parts of my childhood which I remember as happier memories. The keyboard didn’t have enough octaves to hit the one high note when I played the Blue Danube. It was only one note.
     Why had I spent most of my childhood sad when there wasn’t really anything particularly wrong with it? As a woman of my age now, trying to ‘work out’ to the same music which I used to fall asleep to every night, sometimes with tears leaving my eyes, I can clearly see what was wrong then. Sometimes, I still do that, but the songs have changed, just like the reason for the tears.
     Where was the depth? Probably in the same place as the void conversations, the lack of teaching me about life, encouraging me to read books, to do homework, revise, play outside with my friends, open my arms to receive a hug, be patted on the head and told I was a good girl.  I was a sad girl.  I needed love and I didn’t even know that’s what I needed. So instead of expecting that I just did what felt better, I closed my little bedroom door, wrote, played keyboard badly with one finger and chose the next mini vinyl to play on my mono record player. 


An excerpt from the forthcoming book, No Rain No flowers
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Saturday 16 May 2020

So you want to live a Lusher Life?


If, like me, you grew up being told, "good things aren't for people like us," or, "life is really hard," 
then you likely have an internal battle going on. I understand, I did too.
In 2009 the law of attraction showed up in my life and I was astonished to hear that life is supposed to be good! Then I began to question everything I had ever known. I began to change life for the better. Piece by piece, I went into my Lusher Life and my life changed massively for the better. 

I wanted everyone to know this! 
I wanted everyone to live a better life. 
Some people might have been like me and never been told, "yes, you can!" This youtube channel was started to help you into your own Lusher Life. As time went on, I began to realise I can be the writer I had always dreamed of being. I could make more money, drive the car I wanted, travel the world, walk on the shoreline, enjoy the good times with my children... Inspiring others to tell their own story is my mission, and to make it a better story. If that is journaling purely to help you with trauma, write the book, make the videos then any story is valid, this is my mission. I'm telling you, in case no-one ever did....YOU CAN!

Listen to this short story - is this you?


See this video - does any of this resonate with you? Have you changed life for the better yet or do you want to? 


What will it take?
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A day in Broadstairs during lockdown

Friday 15th May 2020, the sun shone and Nathan and I headed to the beach. The house was looking scruffy and needed a lot of attention but I had worked too hard lately. We were able to get out to go walking now, Boris said. So, I spent some time in the garden writing and drinking a soya milk coffee (would the dairy free life finally get rid of this cough?), listening to the fountain tinkling in the pond while my son slept. Broadstairs.  The home of Charles Dickens. We would go there. Always takes me back to happy times at college.










One pound lighter. I was dieting now. I’d lost half a stone on lockdown but wasn’t sure if that was enough so I was aiming for another half a stone before we start getting out in public again. Our local independent gluten free coffee house would be serving me cake again soon enough, so I felt it was a good idea to go a pound or two under my ideal weight just so I can enjoy a guilt free piece of carrot cake. 

Broadstairs was more than beautiful, and there was a solitary cloud looking more like a feather against the deep blue back drop. I vlogged the day, pointing out my history within the local pubs and even the old Captain Digby which was now someone’s home. We had so much fun in there on the nights before we rocked up at Nero’s, the nightclub in Ramsgate. I had never known anything quite like it. Proper clubbing, so much fun, especially on a particular, chilly night in 1987 but that’s another story for another book. 
     “So, it was like pre-drinks then?” Nathan asked, 
     ‘yeah, kinda, can you imagine me walking down that hill at 17 in all my stuff,’ and I remembered and laughed, ‘curly perm, big hoop earrings and so skinny, red and white striped t-shirt and a little rah rah skirt type thing,’ my mind wandered back to that girl. Carefree on that night, but unusually so.
We took photos and walked, trying to decide if it was warm enough to take the hoody off or should It be kept on. One of my lovely people phoned me and made me smile as we walked and I perched for a minute on a bench near the bandstand to enjoy the phone conversation.  All brand new and lit up, I popped the phone in my back jeans pocket and continued with the history lesson, pointing to Morellis the ice cream shop. It was closed. The windows were dusty on all of the shops since lockdown. 
     Handwritten notes were beginning to fade in the windows now, it had been over 8 weeks since places began to close. A long time. I had got used to it now and I liked most parts of living this lockdown life. A reason to flow downstream on the creative path, which I liked. 



     A local vegan shop was open for take away, one person in the shop at a time. We went in and I bought a coffee, using cash for the very first time in two months. We remained socially distant and followed the rules and walked with the takeaway coffee to sit on the pier where the most perfect empty bench gave us and our thoughts some time to pause.
     It was odd seeing somewhere new again. Just like people. When we see them, that will be new too. I’m frightened. 





Bleak house, where Charles Dickens lived and wrote, had the most perfect desk in front of the most perfect bay window overlooking the sea, high-up on the cliff.  I was in slight envy of that desk but remembered my own office at home with the adjacent palm tree outside. Very blessed, especially when the birds flew in and out to take the little berry type flowers. 

Before long, it was time to stop escaping the lockdown and get home once again. The car felt warm so we opened up the sunroof and windows before choosing some loud, music to play and sing along to. Nathan checked his phone, 
     “Mum it’s work. They are opening up again. They want me to start back on Sunday,”
     “No?” I said. My stomach felt like it was full of waves and I felt tears begin to build some pressure behind my eyes. I wasn’t ready. I liked lockdown. I was clearly still frightened of life, of my children being out there again, of the people getting stressed and afraid of me being so busy that I would wear a watch, check it often, work hard to stay awake and probably not be half the writer I am able to be at the moment. 
     “aww but I like it like this, oh, Nathan,” I said,
     “Not really, I’m just joking, not yet Mum,” he smiled. 


***********
An excerpt from the forthcoming book, 'No rain no flowers'
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Friday 15 May 2020

My book cover will be ready today!

Exciting news today in my Publishing house! 📖

The book cover design will be completed today! 📚
My hairy editor friend and I (anyone else needing a hair cut or just Harley?) have been working since dawn to figure what’s next. We want you all to know about this book and how exciting it’s going to be!

Maybe I’ll do a few videos on stories and some lives to give you some more info and see if it’s for you! Suggestions and questions welcome. 🖊🤍📖


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Wednesday 13 May 2020

Are you running low on Zing?

Sometimes you probably feel like you’re running low on energy, ‘zing’, juice, pazazz




Just the same as plugging in the laptop, mobile phone or that darn vacuum, we need to stop and recharge too. But the human body is a miracle and it’ll keep you going even against the odds.

Those of us with challenges (health, mental, practical...) push on. It’s good to have a strong mindset. It’s also good to nourish your body and soul.
Today, I plan a couple of hours off to do something different.
Right after writing of course, because that gives my soul
A whole load of bounce.

What does your day look like? Are you full of zing or need a recharge? And what does a recharge look like to you? (sandals resorts or champneys just sprang to mind!)

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Tuesday 12 May 2020

Do you want to start journaling?

I’m pretty tech savvy, a fan of editing, proud of creating; but.... @justjasx created this new YouTube channel art like a pro! 🎥

She flew around my keyboard at a rate of (knots? - sp?) 👩‍💻

We look like we are getting a theme together. A brand. A clearer message of what we are doing! 🌅

So what am I doing?
I’m sharing stories of A Lusher Life. Telling them in words and movies, hoping others will gain some entertainment or maybe even encourage them into a better life against the odds. 😊

Let me know if that makes sense to you!

I’ve also been asked to consider putting a group together for those who want to write/journal, get their stories out there. That’s exciting. 🖊📖🤍



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Monday 11 May 2020

Telling your story to help your life

"if you stay in the negative place, you're asking the universe to keep you there," - Louise Usher - haha, that's me, I said that! I thought that was juicy!
This video on this Motivational Monday sees me talking to you about how to tell your story in a way which will make life work better for you. Positive energies coming from even the most tragic stories are ones which can help to propel you into the future with a bang! A 'get out of my way because I'm coming through, stronger than ever' kind of vibe. Also in this video, I am going to chat with you about how I am sharing more stories both on my Youtube and in the stories I publish via books and blogs and other posts. Let me know what you would like to hear or see.



See the video here

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What do you miss about your life?

Throwback to Montenegro khaki sands. Long beach walks along the shoreline and deep thoughts with myself 💭



What will today bring? The Government chat is being planned and I’m going to write before the energy change. 📖 🖊

A creative time has been had by so many during lockdown. Anxieties are considering brimming just now at the prospect of dashing around once again.

I can’t help but imagine the rewards for the crazy life ahead. Travel, a meal at the pub, seeing our special people and being with loved ones once again. I can’t wait for those times but I pray we keep our sense of loveliness that has been prevalent during these times.

How are you feeling about these things? 🙏🏻
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Monday 4 May 2020

Why you shouldn't "just" breathe!

Motivational Monday – don’t take ANYTHING for granted

The current situation sees us hoping we don’t catch the virus and struggle to breathe. Our lungs breathe automatically for us day after day, thousands of times. The muscles work, we exchange CO2 for O2 without giving it a thought.  We take breathing for granted.


Just like many other things in life, we assume it will always be okay. Try to pay better attention to everything. Even including breathing. Try to take a moment to listen to your breaths and feel them, deep within your body.  See how amazing it feels. 

This video was inspired by Oprah when she spoke about growing up and being poor, but she knew somehow there was something better. I believed there was nothing better. Until I discovered there was. To go through the journey of the negative thinking pattern allowed me to become who I am and tell those stories to inspire others. 

Let me tell you, there is always something better, always room to improve areas of your life. What is it you want to go for? 
Try writing it down, see what flows. 

In the same way you have taken breathing for granted, start to pay attention to other things and see what happens when you notice the good in certain things. 


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