2020’s fault?

 2020’s fault?

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It’s not 2020’s fault. 2021 doesn’t hold the holy grail. No new answers will happen overnight as we sing auld lang syne. Microorganisms will still roam.

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2020 is a number we have given to a period of time, knowing that time doesn’t exsist.  It’s a measurement that we can relate to in order to co-ordinate ourselves with each other. 2021 is another number which we shouldn’t crown as an amazing milestone to reach. Rather, look back over these last twelve months in order to realise the strength we have all needed to grow into the amazing humans we are on New Years Eve.

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Placing hope in the midnight stoke is setting up for failure. Placing hope in the future self is positivity.  We can make the next steps happen, we can face challenges we previously thought unimaginable, and we can know how awesome we are in our own strength.

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The end of this crazy year is here. We have all labelled 2020. Look at the beauty in those numbers: 2020. Such a pleasing sight on the front of my journal which holds many words describing my feelings through this year. Such a huge year of achievements for so many of us. Please don’t let yourself forget that, among the sadness of the myriad of segments.

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I have learned so much about me, who I am, and how I love. I tried to harden my heart but I love openly and totally and that simply can’t change.  A stranger in the street, my girlfriends, my children, a lover; I love in totality and this is me.

Our time in this global challenge has given me wonderful clarity into what makes me happy.

Giving up the scales has been empowering and I have loved that. I feel happier in my own skin than ever, even when it feels physically bruised.  My aunt said she loves me, and ‘you’re smashing,’ which was a life changer to that little girl in me.

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Mentally, I’ve a way to go in relation to feeling loved and allowing past hurts to float away into non-resistance but the history of life shapes us into our current selves through lessons and scars.

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Scars never heal completely but they hold power in shaping us to strut into our future with a flick of the hair and a wink back at the past ‘us’.