Torn

 

It whispered, ‘write.’ 

Many years have passed, and it still chants the simple word.

Now feels like the right time, and it has brought an accompanying peace.

     The opportunity has come; I’m thankful and I feel blessed. I know this is my purpose. I have known since I was a little girl. Writing since then, with a slight blush, my words have matured a little and my determination to honour my muse despite imperfection is shedding. 

    

    Granted, my words are a little chip in the rockface, but a shiny d

diamond, nonetheless. Finally, this is my time to write more, publish and perhaps, inspire some people. 

     Writing has saved me, many times. The freedom of my unfiltered voice has been a hand-holding best friend when I have needed it. Over and again, the pages and the pen have shown me a path forward.

     

Along the way, in 2011, I wondered if I could reach out on a platform called YouTube, in the hope of sharing my message. Back then, putting yourself in a film was designed only for the brave. I knew somehow, this would be a platform for voices to be heard. My content was focused on the law of attraction, making life better and doing things the best way possible. Then, I took my camera to magical Egypt where I downloaded some guidance which showed me everything I had known was wrong. It was a confusing time for me, while my audience was busy flocking to the channel and accidentally morphing me into a travel vlogger. Today, we are close to 2 million views and sailing towards 5000 subscribers and there is a potential to skyrocket a wonderful business. 

     

Here sits the writer, with stories squirming to go to publication and distribution. I want that. I also want to travel. I seem to enjoy it all. 

I am organised.

I am single.

I could have it all. 

Focus would potentially be a better route. Have I been confusing people who reach out to ask for help with their health (my previous profession), manifesting (my first book), how to write a story (I can encourage, but I can’t teach you to write your story), they ask me to pop up to run a writing retreat, can I step on stage for their speaking gig, how can people book the cheapest trips, and the most common FAQ: ‘which room did you stay in when you went to review that hotel in Tunisia?’

     Do I have to choose one or the other?

     I create stories from travel experiences. One will be on a page, one will be told in a video. Perhaps a few more late nights in the office, with the flicker of an autumn candle, would see me able to do both. The idea of creating videos and writing books at the same time (successfully) dances in symbiosis, flowing joyously through my mind. Do I have to choose one of them? If I did, it would be books. 

     

Right, must dash to sort out Mum. Where did I put the toolbox? The fence needs sorting before I go.

Taking some wrong turns on your journey.

Did you ever have something take you on another path than you first imagined?

And what happened next?

Did you feel uneasy or anxious? Part of you was probably wondering about the next steps and whether should you carry on or turn back, or even just stand still. 

“Even a slow stream can’t go stagnant”

Sometimes, some moment is good. Despite the frightening aspect of being out of your comfort zone. 

Staying stuck for fear of the unknown isn’t helpful when you are hoping to grow, or experience new adventures. 

Many years ago, I made myself a promise that I would subscribe to the rat race, in order to get on a train each day, write a book on the journey, and earn some money during the daytimes. 

I still haven’t finished the book, despite the many opportunities I have ignored as I have been carried upstream and downstream on a meandering paddle board. 

“One day,” turns into never, if you don’t take action. 

Today, I sit and write this piece to reach out to you after my absence on my website. 

Many things have kept me from sharing my stories of hope and motivation and travelling through my Lusher Life. 

I’m in a dark restaurant. The colours are dark and the mood is dark. 

Kinky. 

Fifty shades. 

I hear birdsong and African drums and I stare back at the stuffed ostrich who is angry about being stuck in the middle of the brunch session. 

An innocent couple walked past me, wide-eyed and slightly afraid. What was this place?

It was definitely a little 'bit' of my yoga friend. She moved to this part of London recently and I can see why she now calls it ‘home’. 

My plan today was to come to get yoga class, with a shivasna ending with singing bowls and some meditation. 

I promised myself on my recent trip to Africa that I would pay more attention to my health and happiness. 

In fact, it was so much more than that. 

I will share that with you soon, but for now, I was back from Africa, with a new promise to myself, and on the way to London for a very special Yoga session at the Mandrake Hotel in London.

Driving past Canary Wharf, I saw people dressed in high-vis gear appear in the rearview mirror behind me. Then I saw some in front of me, carrying signs saying, “Road Closed”. What?

I was confused. Until I saw people closing the road both in front of me and behind my car too. I was stuck in between a closed road, on the Commercial Road, in London at 8.01am.

A sign fixed to a light grey lamppost ahead said,

“London Marathon - Road closures.”

I called out into the air in my car,

“Hey Siri, when is the London Marathon?” And he assured me that it is in April. This was October. But my eyes told me he was wrong. The road was definitely closing around me. I felt panic run through me and the realisation that I was not going to make it to the yoga session had me feeling sad. 

I used my voice to text, my friend, to let her know I wasn’t going to make it, to remind her that I still had her table runner in my boot from the day we spend on the sand dunes and that I missed her. 

After following my intuition and the road signs, I began the journey south, down the A2 to home. 

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” was cruising around my head as I began to think of my day ahead. I would go home, likely snooze, and probably waste the day doing things I would be able to do later in the week. My winding mind was whizzing to try and think how else I could get to The Mandrake. 

London wasn’t closed. Just some of the roads, for the marathon. I decided to drive to Welling train station, saying hello to my Nan’s old road on the way through. I found a free parking space and text my friend, 

“How do I get a train? Do I just bleep my Apple Pay through?”

“LOL, yeah, of course.” She said. 

After a little while,

three train changes, and a reason to create an Instagram reel, I reached the right tube station, got off, and took myself to a Costa for a hot chocolate. All I had with me were my car keys, phone and a £5 note. I decided to sit and watch the world, while I waited for Yoga to finish. I was devastated to miss Yoga, but at least I could see my friend.  After a while, I walked in the direction of the Mandrake, found it, walked past, felt anxious, walked back again and decided to be brave and go inside the dark hotel entrance. I had already checked I could come in with my gym stuff on and once again Alla had chuckled and said yes. 

Even so, they greeted me with, “Welcome to the Mandrake,” and invited me to sit in the reception area. 

“Can I get a tea somewhere and wait?” I asked and I was directed to the incredible restaurant to drink my fresh peppermint tea. I pulled out my phone, looked around and began to write this piece. 

The writer was back. 

"Lou, what do you do?"

I totally understand it's a complex subject as to what exactly I do for work. I'm asked this over and over so I will try and explain why I simply answer with, "Well, it's a long answer but basically I'm a writer." 

I write creative non-fiction mostly

I'm also a travel writer, reviewing all inclusive resorts for 'free from' foods.

But I'm also a scientist; a registered nutritionist with a specialism for chronic disease. 

Since I could pick up a pencil, I loved to write.

As a child, letters to thankful Grandparents were written in abundance and compliments of my early writing were welcomed but ignored. Never had I realised the opportunity of pursuing ones dream of being a creative writer might be something life could offer in the form of a “JOB”, so I followed other pathways.

Science saw my love of helping others understand about chronic disease and lifestyle in the form of writing the ‘science’ stuff creatively and in laymens terms (This is something I still occasionally do) yet my postgrad saw encouragement from the incredible academics into writing more narrative non fiction in the form of life writing, writing for trauma and encouraging others to embrace their own stories through memoir.

Being told I have a talent for creative writing was mind blowing and a total dream come true and this has springboarded me into the happiest year of my life. My current work in progress is a narrative about the IVF journey and coeliac disease which of course includes the story of the struggle as a single parent. A happy ending must always follow my writing as we demonstrate strength, independence and self love for my female protagonist (either fiction or non fiction) as she is a lady who believes in chivalry and allows herself vulnerability without apology while remaining upright with valour.

My fiction created a rumble although it was never my intention to write - and I loved it!

Of course I still love science and nutrition. Who couldn’t? It’s more than interesting and I now know exactly what is going on in my body with my chronic illness and why I have it. So now, I’m trying (not easy) to take things a little less frantically in life and pursuing my dream of full time writing. This way, on bad days I can rest and good days I can churn out more words. I love writing Non-fiction in the form of my nutrition blog and reports but I also love romance novels! So....follow my writer journey into my next masters degree in Creative Writing :) My published books so far can be found here: https://amzn.to/2MPtAVX

Check out more of my life on my social media platforms:

*Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/louiseusherwrites

*Twitter:      http://www.twitter.com/louiseusher

*Nutrition:   http://lusherlifenutrition.blogspot.co.uk

*Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/loulusherlife

*Pintrest:     https://uk.pinterest.com/lusherlife/

*Podcast:    https://geo.itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/autoimmune-diet-and-me/id1023129375?at=1001l626&mt=2&ls=1

*Youtube  http://www.youtube.com/louiseusher

Motivational Merch:  Mugs, t-shirts and stuff http://www.cafepress.co.uk/profile/108959736


If you’re a brand and want to get in touch:
Email: lusherlifenutrition@gmail.com

Ups and downs of knowing the law of attraction

Today sees me with strange moods.  

I can only guess that it was after yesterdays blog post talking about me stepping into my reality, (then today getting disturbed by mother). I was in the log cabin getting lots of work done and her disturbing me (she has dementia) made me realise this isn't going to be easy.

The journey I have been on for so many years now has finally brought me to the place of saying "YES! I am a writer!" And I guess rather like waiting for an elusive book deal, then realising you are finally there - and I guess like after your wedding day - you realise everything is still the same, with life ups and downs.

Learning about the law of attraction has been a tricky time and an entire blog post needs to follow with lots of details on this. It's not the answer to finding the cup of gold at the end of the rainbow but rather takes lots of learning to get your head around.  Stopping the feelings of guilt when you aren't 'thinking right' is a big old journey in itself.

So, just for today I will sit in Starbucks with my faithful friend and do a little writing.