Why I gave up on dance

Giving up dancing

If you know me, you know I love to dance.

This weekend is Camber, one of the biggest social events in our dance calendar.  So much fun, local to where we dance, full of great friends, music and dancing; we love it.  This one today sees me share with my son, his friend and two other dancer ladies.  

Recently, for me, some health issues have given me food for thought. Stuck between “yolo” and “listen to your body” which is a true tug of war in my mind. I’m a believer in loving and living to the fullest where possible but of course, right now we need to be sensible. This world is in trouble isn’t it.  Even those of us with solidarity of , “its just like a flu” are now beginning to question that hypothesis.  

A huge debate carried on via a Facebook event group before this weekend.  I can see the for and against. But I did not expect what I got when we arrived.  The organisers have worked tirelessly to do the right thing at the event and I can see their efforts were appreciated by many of us. 

Despite my horrific cough being checked by three paramedics, two drs  and confirmed it’s not coronavirus, being at an event like this feels wrong.  It’s time for me to go home.

This is a time when we are all beginning to realise the importance of putting health first and perhaps changing our views on life slightly. For me, with my current ‘things’ being checked, I feel very blessed to be calmly looking at the best way to make life work in the most positive way for me and those around me.  A sobering thought but knowing I need to keep my online work focused is wonderful.  It’s a place I love to be anyway with my work and super blessed.

Paradigm shift is what one of my clinical worker friends called it. She’s quite right.  Things feel different. i was worried I would be home alone and thinking of all the fun I am missing out on (and being very focused on living my Lusher Life usually) I feel oddly sensible about taking things a little easy for now. 

So, watch this space for more news of writing and other online things I can be doing at this time of respecting my health and those around me which I guess we all should be doing right now. 

With much love and well wishes to you

Louise xoxo

My medical friend sent me this:

https://medium.com/@tomaspueyo/coronavirus-act-today-or-people-will-die-f4d3d9cd99ca?source=messageShare-e1f5a79d22e7-1584182346&_branch_match_id=767729586364409907

Signs from loved ones from heaven?

Yesterday saw the end of Strictly come dancing 2017. It was amazing.  I could not take my eyes off the screen.

Dad and I used to dance.  I feel he sent me some vibes and a very big clue from heaven.

At the age of 12 I began the typical 'modern dance' that young girls do.  A year later it was ballroom and latin.  I loved it.  Scoring high in the 90s for my medal tests, I just felt dance was a part of me, a part of life.  Without it I simply wouldn't feel my heart beating.

As a family we would head off on dance weekends and I just couldn't get enough of it.

Beginning my career at 18 I had to pull away from the dance school and all my friends which was a really hard thing. I felt sure they would always be there for me though and the bond we had created would not be broken. I was sure they would understand just how hard my job was.

Even so, still I would bop while working, constantly. 

The career had to take a detour when I became a mum, also becoming single at the same time.

Adorable twins kept me super busy for a year.  Then I realised I needed to get a life back. Once a week I used to get mum and dad to babysit and I would go to a new type of dance I had never tried before, Ceroc.  I LOVED IT.

Shortly after this, my aunt fell so unwell and I knew that all the while I had the physical ability to dance, I should.  The same year I ran my first race for life with an ambition of running the total 5k regardless of how long it took.  I also became a Ceroc finalist at the National competition in London. I was blown away.  Coming 5th out of 160 couples.  My partner and I had the best time and we became unbreakable, or so I thought.  Dance made me feel alive.  So alive.  Keeping my mental health  in check and I hadn't realised at the time but my physical health too.

Ten years ago I fell in love. My new man was keen to come dancing with me too.  He could move pretty good.  I loved dancing with him and didn't mind at all that I was back to basics again.  We even headed to the competition floor after my previous partner told me he wasn't competing that year (but then did compete, with a much better dancer than me).  My new husband and I were knocked straight out.  Then a decline began. 

"I'm not sure I will come tonight, might get an early night. You go though..." of course I didn't go.  Well, you don't, do you.

Dancing Queen is on my funeral song list.  Which surely shows I feel I'm still that girl.  

Having not danced now for at least 8 years, my mental, physical health and wellbeing is just in ruins. Yet I refuse to believe it's done for.  It will come back.  Dance may help.

Having been thinking this for a couple of months since I became single,  it was on my mind every episode of Strictly.  

Glued.

Last night, the final...each time someone walked into the living room I paused the TV, not wanting to miss a second of it.  The dance, the sequins, the hair and make up.  All so amazing.

My competition days are over. I know this.  My back crumbling and my muscles wasting.  Yet I have to try.   My eyes on stalks.  I loved it. The music.  There she was.  There was me.  I could have cried.

Then I realised.....as the winner was about to be announced,  right in front of them was the trophy.  A glitter ball.  I gasped.

The night before I was at the university christmas ball.  We pulled crackers.  

My prize was a glitter ball.

Thank you for the message Dad xxx