I had another baby boy

...in last nights dream.

Which was so crazy! This baby had the usual soft skin when you held him, and the loveliest eyes. When I introduced him to my (actual) son, he held him close and I took an arty photo of the two of them to post on Facebook,
"When my two sons meet for the first time," to a shocked audience! No wonder, so would I be. My son is 20 now and my children are IVF babies, born after 9 years of fertility treatment and several miscarriages.

Why on earth would I have this dream? Well, we are currently fixing our house and I'm struggling with overwhelm. I won't deny there have been big worries about 
* my bad back
* money
* the workers
* am I up to this?
* being single
but my son sat at the end of my bed while I mopped my tears and told me it would be okay, they will all help, I will take my vitamins and he will take me on a walk before any of it starts.

Later on yesterday I posted a photo, an old one, on Instagram. I titled it:

"so proud of how far we've come in these last 21 years, just us three. They are now taking good care of me. I'm super lucky with my little family"

It's a surreal feeling to think that now I'm beginning to need some looking after too. I'm glad to have given my time to them and create these lovely humans. I have some awesome people in my life but these two youngsters are there for me every day, in every way and I love them dearly for all that they given while expecting nothing in return.

There will be no more babies, that's for sure but why try again when I got it right the first time. 

That little baby boy in the dream was such a sweetheart though, is it mad to say I miss him?

My twins grew up - am I sad?

Returning from the final destination of our 18th birthday celebrations I quietly sit and wonder what I should be feeling.  

As I Mum, I've worked so hard to raise the twins to be amazing people - and they are.  Doing this as a single mum has been a total joy.  There's nothing negative to say about it at all.  Without having my children, I definitely would not be the person I am today.
As they receive my love, freely I give more.  Easily. Willingly.   So, you might say, I'm very proud.  

Spending time together is amazing. Always we have created adventures and seen places with gasps of Wow in the air.  Most travel is accompanied by a little stress through security, passport control and long queues. This is the bit I favour the least.  After getting though the other side, coming home to a little housework which really can't straighten out the neglect that has taken away the warmth of my Home while I worked way too hard these past 4 years or so, I notice a change.

My daughters boyfriend has surprised her with a return trip similar to the one we have just returned from.  My son off to his girlfriends instantly.  They have plans to travel now too.  None of this I mind.  On the contrary.  It's a wonderful experience for them and I'm so pleased they have found their own wanderlust and independence.  A job well done.  Well done me.

My fluffy dog, in need of a haircut, makes a fuss of me and I aim to sit on the floor sorting through the suitcases.  Wondering.  What should I feel right about now?  Proud of course. Excited for them.  
An air of excitement for myself perhaps. For I can see adventure coming my way too.  When my time caring for mum is done I plan long haul trips with my laptop 'working' with the wanderlust in mind. It'll be great. Of course my twins will always need me.
Perhaps, no not perhaps, this IS my time.  Time to enjoy the life I should have had in my 20s but knew nothing except for work.  Time to make even more amazing new friends, to spend more time with the older friends who have stuck around so long while this Tazmanian devil does her thing.
Opening up to brand new experiences and doing my best to let happiness flow with ease.  

Aiming not to feel even a little bit heartbroken, yet knowing this is the way it will be.  Reflecting and changing the way I look at things.  Keeping that eye on the prize of Joy. As many days as is possible.

Just as the lyrics of a song which echoed in my ears this weekend in Paris, I hope I can be a part of their world.  Our unbreakable bond is truly magical.  With the best will in the world right now, A little piece of my heart is broken.  While I also just love that I have seen them bloom and grow.  

Time for me now?

I'd love you to follow my blog! What would you love to see?

Hey guys

Hope you are all well on this rainy August day.  The biggest day in the Wedding Calendar and it's raining.  Poor Brides.

Me? I'm enjoying writing here today in front of the french doors which are wide open.  The cool wet air drifting in refreshingly.  Lovely.

Anyhow,  today is a day of reading the blogs I love and get such pleasure from.  All the while I am giving you a call to action please:

I'd love you to follow my blog here and also my Vlog on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/LouiseUsher

I love to write about many things.  I'm a life coach as well as a Salon business coach.  Therefore I can give tips on

* Hair and Beauty stuff
* Business stuff
* Life stuff (big subject)
* Wedding stuff (sign up to see the next blog!)
* UK visa applications (Just completed)
* Weight loss
* Infertility

Now considering my usual fee,  this is a giveaway! Yay, we like those don't we!

If, like me, you want to make the best from your life and aren't sure how....you can read my book on the Law of Attraction.  I KNOW this stuff works and I've just managed my biggest manifestation of all!

Again, follow here and I will tell all in my upcoming blogs.

Where else you can find me?
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Please get in touch. I see loads of pageviews which is fantastic and I'd love to know what it is that you love the most.  Right now it seems to be the beauty stuff.  There are tons of gorgeous girlies doing this in braces.  My braces came off a few years ago so I wonder if I could offer something different.  Lifestyle advice is a favourite of mine.  But feel free to let me know

I'm off to write, write, write this bank holiday weekend as I really want to update you with my news!!

Much love

Louise x