Thursday 12 January 2017

Two very different black clouds

Today, I felt two very different types of black cloud approaching.

It's no secret that here in the UK we had a very adverse weather forecast.

Rather like my mood.  I Started out feeling great, buzzing for my Human Nutrition year 2 degree exam.  Guessing that every 'up' also brings a 'down',  I got home and took to my bed.

Crohns disease has reared its uninvited head the past two days.  This has left me exhausted,  running on my ever-pressured adrenal glands (bless those little walnuts).

Waking, I felt strange; rested.  

Harley and I had snuggled in tightly and got warm.  Him wearing his hoody with the words 'cute' written on it! Yes, I know, I should have waited to give him a hair cut.
Feeling my unwelcome guest, anxiety approaching, I could feel myself wanting to distance myself from my nearest and dearest, everyone and the world.  Just about everyone.

Sitting with a calculator and pen, I did the usual calculations.  Aiming to out-wit the anxiety with my mathematical calculations, I managed to inspire myself enough to realise that with a couple of years of consistent blogging and creating youtube videos I can actually live the dream I have in working full time from home.  
No way?  Yes!

Thus relieving the pressure to get up each day healthier than the previous day.  Much as I love to believe I have this illness under control, there are those days when it somehow is smarter than me.

Feeling in-spirit (inspired) I took to the keyboard and lit the candle. With only my tinitus, ticking clock, snoring dog and fired up boiler for sounds, I begin to write.  My passion, my love.

I want to write, write, WRITE.

This black cloud approaches,  this brings the beauty of snowflakes.

Without a sound, we see them falling,  covering the roads and pathways in an instant.  Such beauty.  As the social media channels begin to fill with children out playing late into bedtime and snowmen being built around these towns, I began to dream of a snow day tomorrow.

Would we get a snow day?

Don't get me wrong, I have two amazing clients booked to see in the morning, right before my gastroenterology appointment at the hospital, yet I have fire in my belly to write write WRITE.

Are you with me on this journey?

As always, much love

Louise xoxo

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